Christmas 2012

Christmas is a time to brag about the amazing presents you got, so here I go:

-a new camera from the bf! I've been wanting to take actual pictures of Harrison and not just iphone pictures that kinda actually suck in comparison to a real camera, so it's perfect!
-stemless wine glasses from my sis. Let's be real here, having stemless wine glasses makes you a cooler person.
-a new curling iron. I was a little too excited about this one, and I have admitted to myself that I probably spend way too much time in life on my hair. But, when you are born with the hair of an certain ethnicity when you are not that ethnicity, and your hair is extremely thick and textured, you have no choice.
-a Birchbox subscription. If you have to ask what Birchbox is, you are dead to me.

I also got a bunch of other kewl presents, but I don't want to make you too jealous.

We were a little concerned this year if Harrison was going to make the nice list. He is a naughty one most of the time, and were expecting to see coal. However, he pulled it together just in time, and Santa brought him some awesome gifts. His favorite (ahem... my favorite) is the giant ducky bathtub.

Thanks Santa 

 In other news, Harrison tried some new foods over the Christmas break. We attempted giving him sweet potatoes. As per usual, he LOVED them... until he got a wicked rash all over his body, I freaked out, and swore him off solids for the next month. However, it did make for some awesome pictures.

FASTER!!

Gimme those taters

Did I get any on my face?

 And then there's this.

Do you like my jew fro? It's just like yours, Mommy. 

I would have written a longer post, detailing the amazing time I had visiting with family, playing with Harrison's new toys, etc etc but he just woke up so stay tuned.

an A+ in Sleeping 101

I realize that the last time I blogged was Friday, shortly before the news surfaced about the tragedy in Newtown. I'm not one to drone on about political/social issues, but I do just want to say that it definitely put things into perspective for me. My last post was full of complaints, about petty things, but after hearing about the devastation that occurred, not only to the families of the victims, but to the entire community, I realized that I have a lot to be thankful for. Especially my little angel, Harrison.

Before I completely contradict myself with a bout of complaints, I have a progress update for you. The past few days have been really challenging with the little one. Yesterday, I pretty much cried as much as he did, with the exception of when my stepfather brought me Starbucks, and my mom's Bacon Blue Cheese Mac and Cheese and that thoroughly cheered me up. I've basically boiled all of his behavioral issues down to his lack of sleep. So, over the past few difficult days, I decided it was time to put my foot down and get the kid to learn to sleep without 30+ minutes of violent, brain-shaking rocking.

I never thought I would be one to let him "cry it out" just because, as I've mentioned, the sound of his crying pulls at my heart strings and often makes me cry along with him. It's a painful scene. However, it was time. Kid needs to learn. Plus, with Christmas coming up, I didn't want the precious time with my family interrupted by 30 minutes or more of nap-coaxing each time he gets tired.

If you think I look like death, you are absolutely right.

We started three days ago. It was all spurred by a night that he woke up from a pretty deep sleep, with the tantrum of all tantrums. Since nothing we were doing would help him stop crying, Dave suggested (thank god) that we just let him cry in his crib, where at least it wouldn't be making us go deaf. After 5 minutes, I went in to check on him, gave him back his pacifier that he spit out in anger and misery, and he was out like a lightbulb.

I had tried this method before, and it did NOT work, so now I figure that maybe he just wasn't ready. After three days of letting him cry in his crib for a few minutes, and finally put himself to sleep, I am crossing my fingers, praying to the lord above, knocking on wood, etc etc.. that he has finally learned this sacred skill. The nap he is currently taken begun with absolutely no fighting it or crying!

I'm sure you all care so much about my growing insanity due to Harrison's sleep issues. In short, I didn't want to complain about the ways Harrison challenges me, I just wanted to congratulate him for winning the "Most Improved Baby" award.

The only thing cuter than a sleeping baby, is a sleeping baby with wrist rolls.  

The world might end tomorrow, and today being only 5 days until Christmas, I might as well list everything I'm excited for incase it's tragically taken away from me by aliens and/or a meteor.

1. Family. Obviously, this is an exciting part of the holidays, but this Christmas has some extra exciting elements. For one, my bro in law still has not met Harrison. FaceTime does not count, so Harrison will finally be meeting the kewlest black member of the family, Dom. Another first-time meeting for Harrison is my Aunt Leslie! She is coming all the way from Colorado to join us for Christmas, which is amazing for one, because she's Jewish, and two, we haven't seen her in a few years. I am jumping for joy. And as if I even have to say it, I get to hang out and drink wine with my sister for 5 days straight, so pretty much nothing can be better in the world (assuming it doesn't end, of course).

2. Food. I have a recent obsession with cornbread, and make boxes of it only to eat the entire pan myself. The last pan I made was consumed in it's entirely over two days. Sorry I'm not sorry. The point is that I will have other delicious foods to choose from soon and this is much needed. Sustaining one's self on cornbread and cornbread alone is not advised. A sampling of our Christmas menu includes: bacon blue cheese Mac and Cheese (which I got to sample last night and is AMAZING), beer bread as per my request after reading my sister's blog, and crack brownies (use your imagination).

3. Resuming my role as the Christmas Nazi. I was given this title after repeated years of taking full control over many elements of our Christmas celebrations. I am the designated gift passer outter, simply because everyone else was too slow at picking out gifts to open, and I wanna open that shit asap. I also do not let anyone else touch, decorate, contribute to, arrange gifts, and basically do anything other than look at the tree. This is my job and I do not want your help. It will only get in my way.


I am, for once, done with Christmas shopping and wrapping before the very last minute. Are you done with Christmas preparations?

We can't bathe

I have a little bit (or a lot) of complaining to do. And no, it's not about Harrison as one would think (he was a bad boy yesterday so I have some pent up resentment). It's about my apartment.

Don't get me wrong- there are parts of this place that I love, like the two bathrooms, our HUGE bedroom, and being able to walk obnoxiously loud to piss off the guy below us. However, the longer I've lived here, the more I'm noticing is wrong.

Our stovetop has four burners, three of which are tiny and don't fit most regular sized pots and pans, and the only normal, adequate sized burner is broken. Ask me if I've called our landlord to get this fixed....

There are a LOT of spiders.

The roof looks like it could cave in at any moment.

The laundry "facility" contains two working washers and zero working dryers. You must pay quarters to use the machines, so you are paying for seeping wet clothes.

And then, there's this:

No, we didn't add a mixture of food coloring to get the water to turn that horrible color. That's just how it comes out of the faucet. For some reason, the water comes out clear when we take showers, but if we try to take a bath, we are met with that beautiful sight.

This wasn't so much of an issue until recently. Judge me all you want, but Harrison was not getting daily baths. To all of you gasping in horror at how negligent that is, just know that all of the "experts" say that little babies should not get baths more than 2-3 times a week, because it will dry their skin out. So there.

He's also just outgrown his little bath, so we need a bathing facility for him. Obviously, our bathtub won't work. We try giving him baths in the sink, but scrubbing the sink with a magic eraser every day is stupid annoying.

The dilemma is this: if our landlord won't get over here to fix a burner... there is NO WAY he will fix the plumbing for our shower. Meaning, we will probably have to take this issue up with the Housing Authority department because bathing ourselves in water that color MUST be a health violation, or at least I would hope. I CANNOT give Harrison sink baths every day for the next 8 months, so this must be tended to pronto. I can't even explain in words how annoying this situation is to me, but if you can imagine the endless phone conversations I'll probably need to have between the Housing Authority and my landlord, and the probable month(s) it will take to get fixed... you can imagine my pain. Or should I say Harrison's pain at being the world's stinkiest child.

Do you hate calling your landlord as much as I do?

Big Boy Food

What I'm about to share is a true story. The other day, I was sitting alone with nothing but my thoughts, and I thought to myself, "I just remembered I have a blog". I don't know what came over my deranged mind, but for a short period there, I subconsciously suppressed my own blog. And that's the story of why I haven't blogged.

Normally I feel like I have nothing going on in my life to share, but since it's been a while, a lot has happened! Harrison had his 4 month check up with the pediatrician and all is well. Plus, a few of my neurotic anxieties were calmed, like:

-his head is not misshapen as a result of my terrible parenting and always laying him flat on his back
-he does not have shaken baby syndrome. And before you jump to conclusions- sometimes I have to rock him very violently to get him to sleep. I made the mistake of reading "What to Expect the 1st Year" which informed me that even small movements that you wouldn't think would harm the baby, can actually shake his brain around inside of his skull. So ever since then, I have to choose between rocking him the only way that will put him to sleep and fear ricocheting his brain around, or let him scream and thrash in my arms.
-he's actually a pretty normal baby and not the spawn of the devil. Apparently all babies have peculiar behaviors.

We also had the joy of starting solid foods! That phrase kind of sounds sarcastic, but it is not at all (not yet anyway). I always knew Harrison would be a chow hound, simply because of the enthusiastic way in which he nurses (enthusiastic is a polite way of saying it hurts like hell for me because he goes AT IT).  It took him only two meals of the rice cereal for his fat kid self to show its true colors. He went to town. It was pretty funny for Dave and I to watch, because he was literally lunging towards to spoon to get more. He finished the whole bowl, and probably could have gone for seconds. As my sister said, there was never any doubt that as a member of our family, he would love food.

What's all over my face?

You suck at this, I can do it better.

Last weekend was a Chrismakkah extravaganza. Dave's family came out for both Hannukah (no, they're not Jewish. Something about wanting to celebrate the roots of Christianity), and an early Christmas for Uncle Jamie, who will be in Colorado over the holiday. I'm not one to brag... wait, yes I am.. so let me say how perfect our tree is. I pretty much picked the most beautiful conifer known to man.

I also made out with a lot of great gifts! My favorite might be the huge box of diapers. No lie.

Tonight, we are going to a Christmas Dinner hosted by one of my bffs from Geneseo. I am excited because this dinner falls during Harrison's witching hour, so my parents graciously offered to babysit and save me from the wrath. Despite this, my parents are excited to feed Harrison his big boy food and bathe him. Can you think of anything more exciting?

Working Out for dummies

I know I'm a little late to this, but incase any of you were wondering, my Thanksgiving went great! The bread was miraculously edible! It tasted great, just was a little dry. Harrison slept through the entire meal, which was yet another miracle.

One of the nights, we got into Dave's old baby pictures, and I have to share the findings. I also must note that prior to this discovery, I had no idea who Harrison looked like. I've been told he has my eyes, Dave's nose, etc... so I guess I could distinguish certain features, but overall, thought he looked like neither. Until now..

Harrison at 3 months

Dave at 3 months 

Tell me that's not like a mirror image? Just put a little hair on Harrison's head and that is the same baby. 

I also got a few workouts in over the long weekend. HA just kidding. I mean, for me they were workouts, but for the normal person who actually exercises more than once every 9 months, they were simple tasks. First, Dave and I had an intense dance battle via Kinect's Dance Central. After about 4 dances, we were both sweating balls, winded, and ready for a water break. This made me feel a little better about my own endurance (or lack thereof) since Dave was equally out of breath. Sweating = a workout, right?

Next, Harrison and I competed in our first 5k! And by competed, I mean walked. I pushed the stroller along at a quite leisurely pace, Harrison slept, and we still managed to pass people. I've never walked a 5k before, so I'd say this was a PR for both of us.

When we got back to Brockport, I had the brilliant idea to put this thing together.

Disclaimer: ladies, a little advice- if there is ever some sort of baby contraption that needs to be assembled, always, ALWAYS have your significant other do it. Up until this point, Dave has put together every other baby accessory- the swing, crib, mobile. I would look on and think: I don't need to offer any help, he's got this, piece of cake. 

Oh no. I was wrong. I consider assembling this silly thing to be my third workout of the week, because I was sweating equally, if not more, than I was during the dance-off. I laughed, I cried, I acquired injuries. And it was all for nothing, because for one, Harrison's feet don't even touch the floor when you put him in it. He has an inch or two left before he'll be able to use it safely. Two, he was content for about a minute before he started wailing. So much for that project. At least I got some cute pictures of a naked baby.

Quick Bread woes

This will be my last post until at least next week. Sad, I know. We are travelling to Watertown for Thanksgiving, and my boyfriend's family has something I didn't even know still existed- limited internet. As in, no wireless. I'm not even sure what method they use, but it definitely doesn't allow me enough time to blog. 

I am very excited for Thanksgiving at the Porters' though, because Dave's mom is an excellent cook. I often have to force myself to not take thirds of her cooking, but seconds is unavoidable. Needless to say, I will be wolfing down her food similar to how I wolfed down my mom's on Saturday. Thank god for all the calories I'm burning producing milk for the hungry hungry hippo. 

I wanted to bring a dish to share, but this makes me extremely nervous, since comparing my creation to Lisa's creations is basically a death sentence. I will be bringing scalloped corn. Don't ask me how I settled on this, or why. As if my cooking will never compare to hers anyways, I'm apparently making their grandma's recipe of this dish, so I am completely doomed. Why did I think bringing corn to a farmer's Thanksgiving, people who specialize in corn for a LIVING, was a good idea? 

I decided it was necessary to make a test run of the dish, just to make sure it wasn't poisonous. I made the test run for our Fakesgiving last weekend, and it wasn't half-bad! Almost the entire casserole dish was gone by the end of dinner! I think that's a good sign??

Then, in a delusional state, I thought bringing a second dish would be a good choice. It's Melissa's family's brown bread recipe. I was introduced to it a few years ago, when I went to their Thanksgiving, and have been addicted ever since. My reasoning was that it would be nice to bring one dish that was expected, and a second as a surprise treat. 

Call me crazy, but I've never baked a quick bread before. I'm hindered by the fact that my mom's are just too delicious- why bother making my own? I'm additionally hindered by our g.d. oven. As a renter, I don't expect top notch appliances, but this oven really shits the barrel. The temperature dial is no where near accurate, so it usually runs at least 15 degrees hotter than you set it at. I've tried to dial back to adjust for this discrepancy, but somehow I always, always manage to burn things.

To my delight, the bread had been in the oven, smelling delicious, so here I was thinking things were going smoothly. When my timer went off, I go to pull the bread out only to see that the edges are starting to burn. But, here's the kicker- the inside of the bread was still mushy. Meaning that it wasn't fully cooked throughout, but I couldn't put it back in the oven in fear that the edges would burn even more. BUST BUST BUST. Strongly considering just not even bringing that one. 

Doesn't even look good

I then had a minor freakout telling myself that I will never be a good cook or baker, and I will just quit while I'm ahead now, never to cook or bake again.

The food you give me is delicious, Mom!

But I'd rather eat my foot

What's more exciting than a new layout?

Welcome to my new blog! Quite frankly, I think it looks pretty spectacular. You are not allowed to have a different opinion. hah but seriously, it took me all of yesterday morning to perfect it. I was practicially hypnotized by my own blog, because I physically could not do anything until it was complete. You may not think it looks pretty enough to warrant 3 hours of my time, but yes, that is how long it took me. So I hope you all appreciate it. Especially since I had a different template design settled on within 2 minutes, but my sister informed me that many of my readers would refuse to read centered text, and since the text was locked for that template, it was bye bye to that. You're welcome.

I feel like I have a lot of useless information to update you on. Sheila's fish recipe was a big hit, and she has plenty more where that came from, so I suggest you go look at them. And while I'm in my shoutout section here, I have to thank Rachael for saving my blog's life. She was the genius who suggested how to fix the design of it.

Fakesgiving was splendid. Harrison was a cranky boy as per usual, wouldn't nap as per usual, and had to be held in rotation while we ate dinner as per usual, but we're all used to it now so we still had a great time!

Starting his modeling career early

I would have to say there were dual highlights. First, and most obvious, was my mom's cooking. I wolfed that shit down like I was on Survivor and hadn't had a real meal in 30 days. Second, was Marc getting drunk off of red wine, and claiming that it was like Alyssa and Eric's wedding all over again. Many of you will not be able to appreciate this for how great it is, but when Marc gets that drunk, it is easily the most entertaining thing anyone can experience.

We found a recipe for a Christmas cocktail. I'm not excited or anything

Today is Dave and my 2 year anniversary. Harrison decided to give us the greatest gift of all, and slept through the night last night. Granted, he went to bed around 8:30, and I woke him up for a little late-night snack around 10:30, but he didn't wake himself up til 6. I call that a victory. Not sure if that technically qualifies as "sleeping through the night" since I did feed him once in the span that he was asleep, but in my mind, it does.

This is how he fell asleep last night- sitting up. 

Other than that, our anniversary night tonight will include the riveting activities of Dave studying for his CPA exam, and me watching the results show of Dancing With the Stars. I am dying of anticipation for such excitement.

I'm hungry

All I can think about is food. And rightly so, because I have so many great food events coming up this week. No, I'm not PMS-ing, just a fattie.

Tonight, my brother is coming over and I am planning on making a recipe that I have been drooling over for weeks. It came from my friend, Sheila's blog. It's basically like two of my favorite foods mashed together into one tasty explosion in your mouth (insert the "thats what she said" jokes), Salt and Vinegar Haddock. Fish, covered in salt and vinegar chips, and baked. DROOLING. I will let you know how it turns out. 

Thursday, Dave and I will celebrating our 2-year anniversary. I have seriously deliberated over what restaurant to go to for weeks, and we finally settled on one last night. Initially, I dreamed of going to the  Melting Pot. I have heard that it is absolutely scrumptious, but highly expensive, so the day when there was a Groupon for it felt like the heavens were answering my prayers. Due to my luck, I log onto Groupon to purchase it and it is sold out. I cried actual tears. 

After this extreme disappointment, I felt like no other dining experience could live up to my dreams of fondue greatness. Then, Dave suggested this cute, little place that has gourmet burgers and wood-fired pizza. I realized that the term, "gourmet burger" is the way to my heart, and agreed that this would be the winner. Plus, my bff Kait (aka. Curls), told me she recently got a mojito when she was out, and I have been craving one ever since. Mojitos and gourmet burgers and I'm one happy girl. 

Saturday will be the culmination of my week of good eats. It is my family's second annual Fakesgiving. My mom always works on Thanksgiving so that she can have Christmas off, so we started doing our own Thanksgiving on a different day so that no one would miss out. Can I just say that having two Thanksgiving meals a year is amazing. Fattening, but amazing. We will eat, drink, and pass Harrison around like a play thing. 

Last year's invitiation/menu. I went all out. Little did I know that all that alcohol I was drinking was going straight to Harrison's embryo. 

I know I said yesterday that I was too afraid to snap a picture of Harrison napping in his crib. Well, I overcame my fear and went for it. 

Hard to tell, but that's his pacifier wedged into his right cheek. 

A rare Monday morning post

I have to tell you that my quality of life has recently improved DRAMATICALLY. Obviously, so dramatically that it needed to be in caps. Long story short- Dave's mom was visiting Friday night, and somehow magically came up with the formula for getting Harrison to nap in his crib. I'm not sure if I'm just an inadequate mother and have no idea about any aspect of motherhood, or if she's just gone through it 3 times before and has an edge up. Probably a combination. She came up with the brilliant idea of stuffing teddy bears around Harrison's body to recreate the feeling of being held. GENIUS. Since Saturday morning, he has taken almost every nap in his crib (with the exception of our first morning nap, where I just nap with him, because cuddling is just so much better than sleeping alone). I wish I could take a picture of the teddy bear engulfment, but I'm too deathly afraid it will wake him up.

Since there's no picture of the teddy bear arrangement, I will supplement with a picture of him AS a teddy bear. 

Ways my quality of life has improved:
1. First and foremost, being able to use the laptop with both hands, thus typing with both hands, thus being able to blog.
2. Getting stuff done. This morning, I was able to pick up the apartment, put laundry away, and even went all out getting ready and put eyeshadow on. This NEVER happens. I had to take advantage of all the extra time I had, you know?
3. Sanity. It really was taking a toll on my psyche that I had no time to myself. Harrison was attached to me literally at all times. A few nights ago, I was screaming in his face telling him to stop crying, thinking that was the preferred method of quieting him down. I had lost it, just a little.
4. Eating a meal that I don't have to shove down my throat in a matter of 14 seconds. This is especially enjoyable, since I love food.

Pretty much

In addition to all that greatness, I am getting my hair did today. So, because all of you know me, you know that my hair is really freaking thick, and often can resemble dreads. I have many a time contemplated just dreading it, to try to prove that dreads can be hot and/or because I just get so sick of it that twisting it into dirty little hair logs and never having to wash it would be preferable. My point is, that my hair takes a LOT of maintenance  and I shouldn't go more than 6-8 weeks without getting it tamed. It has been 4 months since my last cut. See the sacrifices I make for you, Harrison? I am more than excited. Like, have been looking forward to this for an embarrassingly long time.

My obsession with hair is another reason that I get so upset that Harrison is bald. I see other little babies that are born with a full head of hair and become overwhlemed with jealously and rage. Dave and I both have dark, curly hair, so where is Harrison's jew fro? Seriously.

What? My baldness isn't cute??

Baby Rolling

I have exciting news! Harrison rolled over for the first time yesterday! I'm obviously a very proud mommy right now. Who would have thought that like two years ago, my excitement in life came from dressing up for theme parties on the weekend, and now I'm ranting and raving to anyone who will listen about how amazing my son is.

Anyways, the day started off a little rocky. As evidence:

He has a little mouth infection, so I figured the day was doomed with endless crying and irritability. I had to put my foot down. I pretty much thought I would lose my mind if I stayed home all day with that, so I took matters into my own hands and texted my bff, Melissa, to see if she was not working so I could visit. To my delight, she was off for the day, so I packed Harrison into his carseat, and we went on a little adventure. You know when your "adventures" consist of driving into the city of Rochester, your life is pretty lame.

I had recently read that 3 month old babies need to start spending more time on their tummies, in order to develop neck strength and shit like that. So of course I went a little psychotic on the tummy time front, and decided that it was my new mission. This was like a mere two days ago that I embarked on the belly mission. I wanted him to roll over before the 4 month mark, which is the average rate for babies to roll over according to my pediatrician, so I was amazed when it only took him two days of extra tummy time, and 3 months and 1 week to do it!

I don't know what came over me, but it was as if I knew it was coming, because I told Melissa to film the ordeal with her iphone. Sure enough, we were able to capture the moment. Plus, it helps that Melissa is a connoisseur of iphone documentation.

I had to cut the video a little short to be able to send it to myself to get it on here, but you get the jist.

Did I just put myself up to a standard of having to catch all of his "firsts" on video?? Uh oh.

The poor turkeys

Sooo theres a looming event that I am getting really nervous about, and no, it's not the results of the presidental election (because with that, I don't give a f***. oops, I said it). Theres this turkey farm that I have to drive by almost every day, and those little turkeys are not so little anymore, if you catch my drift. They are rapidly plumping, just in time for a certain holiday where millions of them get slaughtered.

To be clear, I'm all for the turkey consumption on Thanksgiving. What would Thanksgiving be without the bird sacrifice? And let's not forget the stuffing. My mom makes the BEST stuffing. So, okay, the turkey is a necessary part of the day.

There have been a few years in the past where I have forgone my own consumption of turkey in order to take a stand. When there's mashed potatoes, stuffing, squash, pumpkin pie, etc etc, the turkey isn't so missed. Take my word for it.

I have not decided this year if I will be eating turkey or not, but I can tell you that I am seriously dreading the day when there are no turkeys left at the turkey farm. Driving past and getting to see their little selves clucking around and frolicking away really excites me. It is easily my favorite part of the drive. That may sound extremely strange, but as someone whose power animal is a bird, I connect with my fellow bird species.

I even dressed Harrison up as a turkey in respect.

I look ridiculous. 

But for the sake of your blog, I guess I'll smile

haha I lied. I just needed to throw some pictures in here and pretend that they are related.

Excuses

I'm just gonna come out and say that I feel pretty guilty for not blogging in over a week. I'd like to think  I have a good reason for that, but I don't. I'm just full of excuses, so I'll list them off for you to feel sorry for me and sympathize with my blogging inefficiencies (when really I deserve no sympathy).

Excuse #1: Harrison is the world's worst baby. Ok maybe not the WORLD'S worst, but he's up there. It's a weird phenomenon that I love him more than words can say, but I also very seriously accuse him of being a bad baby. I hate when people ask, "Is he a good baby?" and then scoff at me when I say no. It's like, if you didn't want to know the answer, don't ask. Especially if you are planning on judging me if I don't rave about how good my baby is. I'm starting the think the concept of a "good baby" is a myth. Or at least a foreign language in my world.

So why does Harrison's bad behavior mean I can't blog? I've said it before and I will say it again, incase you thought I was exaggerating (which I'm not): Harrison has to be held at all times. The second I even begin the downwards motion to set him down on the floor or on the couch he begins to wail. I allow him to cry only long enough for me to scarf down a sandwich or bowl of cereal, but thats about all I can handle of that dreadful noise. I feel as though the sound of him crying makes my ears bleed. The only reason I've been able to attend to this blog post is because he discovered his feet and is FASCINATED. Videos to come.

Excuse #2: Darcyitis. This was a name my Mom came up with a while ago for the sickness I get like 23 times a year. The symptoms of Darcyitis are sore throat, runny nose, fever aka. a cold. So it's not like I'm contracting leperacy. However, I do tend to get sick more than the average person, so we felt it appropriate to name the sickness after me. I've had Darcyitis the past couple days, so when I wasn't lying helpless on the couch, my only energy was devoted to changing diapers. I had none to spare for blogging.

Now that I'm better, I knew one of my first goals was to complete a blog post. I have to say, I went to dinner with some of my girlfriends the other night, and one of them told me that she is an avid reader, and really nothing excites me more. Thanks, Emily!

Last night was Halloween, so revealing Harrison's costume was another motivator for me to post. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I made one good looking baby. The picture of his costume on Facebook got 90 likes. I'm also not a huge proponent of Facebook, like, the last time I actually posted a status was about two years ago when I thought people actually cared about when I was showering and getting ready to go out. News flash: no one does. But anyways, the fact that the picture got so many likes was not exciting to me on a Facebook popularity level, but rather on a my kid is so darn cute level.

We decided to go with the cow costume after the disappointing realization that both the lion and elephant costumes I was waffling between were both sold out. Sorry for subjecting you to a pointless poll. I'm sure I've mentioned before that Dave's family are dairy farmers, so a cow was the next best option.

I look ridiculous and refuse to smile 

This Saturday is Harrison's 3 month birthday! It does not feel like 3 months have gone by. We had to shoot his 3 month picture a couple days early, becuase my stepdad and mom are on their way to Baltimore to visit my sister and brother-in-law. Lucky you, I'm posting it early. 

Touching his peepee already. I'm screwed. 

I am extremely jealous that my parents get to visit my sister and Eric in the wonderful land of Baltimore. Baltimore got hit pretty hard by the bitch, Sandy, so we are thankful that Alyssa and Eric got out unscathed. We were also very lucky that the storm didn't ravage us, but we were left with one souvenir in it's aftermath:

Wall Boob

That's right: a wall boob. I bet you're jealous you don't have one. 

finally some excitement

Ok, I cannot tell you how happy I am that my life finally had something exciting enough to write about. This past weekend was pretty much fantastic. Friday, I can't remember what we did. That's mommy brain for you. Saturday was my college roommates reunion sleepover night! The last time the four of us were all together was when I was still pregnant, so this was way overdue. 

kewl self-timer photo

I had them over to our apartment, because Harrison is far too high maintenance to go anywhere else. I had my concerns about how Harrison would behave, and/or if I would end up getting any sleep when you combine staying up til the wee hours of the morning chatting with the girls, and Harrison waking up on the reg. I was in some serious 12-5 withdrawal though, so I decided one night of even less sleep than usual wouldn't kill me. Plus, he had been sleeping pretty decently leading up to this... key word is had. 

Dave was nice enough to watch Harrison while we went out to dinner, and needless to say we all pigged out and drank wine. I can't even lie and pretend that I'm a wreck when I leave Harrison's side, its pretty freaking great actually. Somehow, it is relaxing and freeing and much needed, yet I need to hug him the second I walk in the door and ask him how much he missed me. Call me a hypocrite. 

When we got back, is pretty much when shit hit the fan. We accidentally woke him up, and let's just say he was not happy. The next few hours consisted of a lot of crying, inbetween brief lapses of sleep. I guess it was too good to be true to think that he would just magically go to sleep at his bedtime and stay asleep to allow me to hang out with the ladies stress-free. Once we finally got him to sleep, we had a great time drinking (more) wine, playing games, and obviously reminiscing about our crazy ways in the 'Seo. 

Sunday, we braved our way to Letchworth State Park. I say braved because it was a little over an hour away, so that in itself is a hefty mission to take on, since Harrison has become the only baby in history to dislike carrides. The park itself requires a lot of hiking, so we decided to try out the baby carrier for real. This was also concerning, as any time I've attempted to put him in that thing has not gone swimmingly. Much to our delight, he was pretty content being carried around all day (who wouldn't be?) and even fell asleep for a short period. Plus, being anywhere close to Geneseo and/or doing anything that reminds me of Geneseo is a win. 

ghetto baby

the boys. Harrison looks THRILLED

I would have appreciated this family portrait a lot more if my hair wasn't sticking up like Alfafa. 

selfiesss

Heaven? No, just the magical land of Letchworth

This weekend is Halloween weekend and probably for the first time in my life, I'm not dressing up. Can't say I'm upset about that. Harrison is taking one for the team. Stay tuned for the reveal of his costume!!

ramblings

In lieu of Harrison's horrible sleeping habits, I got desperate and did something I never thought I would do: ordered a self-help book. I guess it's not so much self-help as it is help for Harrison. But if Harrison gets more sleep, mommy gets more sleep, and will regain her sanity. Thus, self-help.

The book is called "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by a mommy author who calls herself "The Sleep Lady". It got great reviews and a lot of other mothers were saying it helped their babies sleep significantly, so I forked over the $10 to download it to my Kindle.

So far, this is what I've gathered from it: almost everything I'm doing to get Harrison to sleep is bad, Harrison seems way too ingrained in his bad habits to turn around, and I'm freaking out that I'll never get a good night's sleep again. Wonderful!

Death by milk coma

She does say to wait to start her program until you can have three weeks with little interruptions, and since we are travelling to Watertown in a couple weeks, I'll have to wait until after we return. Two more weeks of the get-no-sleep plan. I am excited to try it out though, and will keep you updated on our progress. That is, if we have any.

This morning, in an attempt to improve my mood and take some of the edge off, I put in a 30-minute yoga video. I didn't know what would stop me first- Harrison deciding that 30-minutes unattended to is far too long of a stretch and demand to be picked up, or me being so out of shape that I poop out. Well, I'm embarrassed to report that it was the latter. I got through 10 minutes before I decided that I was ready to be done. Sad, but true. I'm going to place all of the responsibility for getting so out of shape on Harrison. I had an 8-week recovery period from surgery and couldn't work out! His doing, not mine. Maybe one day I'll put the excuses aside and really start a less pathetic work out regimen.... but probably not.

I'm again sorry at my failure to blog more often. Of recent, I've become obsessed with Homeland and can't do anything but watch it, think about it, and stalk cast members on the interwebs. Specifically, Damian Lewis, who plays the POW turned terrorist. Not only do I find myself crushing on a terrorist, he's also a ginger, and possibly the first ginger I've ever been attracted to. I can't explain it. I think
I'm in love.

you can terrorize me anytime

I'm no Makeup Expert

My sister's friend Kara, who is about 3 weeks away from her due date for baby #2, requested I do a makeup tutorial for new moms in one of my blog posts. I found this hysterical, since I know very little about doing my own makeup. In college, I would risk not going out if none of my girlfriends were around to do my makeup (ha! just kidding... I never not went out). To make matters even worse, my best friend, Melissa, is the makeup queen, so she makes my crutch even more pathetic. I do clothes, styling, nail polish, but not makeup.

I did have a brief stint as a Mary Kay consultant. Mary Kay is more about skincare products than anything, so I wasn't as involved in the makeup side of things. Then I became not involved in any of it when I realized my director was a psychopath, and had to email her accusing her of harassment to get her off my effing back. That shut her right up.

However, Kara's request did get me thinking about the few items that I would die without, so let me just profess my love for certain products (any male readers can stop reading now).

1. Mary Kay Concealer - this shit does work. The reason I listed this first is because it has become increasingly more essential to my life now that I get no sleep. It hides the dark circles under your eyes like no other, and let's face it, that is not only excellent for me when I look in the mirror, but also for those that have to look at me. It's never a pleasant sight to see a person with sunken, grayish blue circles under their eyes. It's also never fun to get told how tired you look on a consistent basis, so I just eliminated that opinion in its entirety.

sidenote: there was a b**** I used to work with that would tell me at least one a week how tired I looked and I wanted to slap her every single time. Is that not the most annoying thing anyone can say to you?

2. Bronzer (also from Mary Kay coincidentally, but any will do) - this might just be one of my crazy theories, but sometimes I feel that the less sleep I get, the more pale I look. I'm pretty pale to begin with, and have (recently) decided that the only tanning I will do in a tanning bed is of the spray variety. This is because my sister is a sunscreen freak, as in puts it on every single day, like even if its blizzarding out. My latest fear is that, as 6 years younger, I will one day have older looking, more wrinkly skin, and be forever mistaken for her elder. Verdict: tanning out, bronzer in.

I also can't stand next to, take pictures with, or be in the vicinity of my boyfriend, because something about his 1/16th Native American heritage makes him extremely tan, bordering on ethnic looking. The stark contrast between him and I is not my friend. That's why my bronzer is!

This is us, mid-summer... I thought I was partially tan until I saw this

3. Deodorant - I list this as if it wasn't essential to my life before motherhood. It was, don't worry. Except now... here comes the embarrassing confession segment of the post... I am more smelly than ever. It's not that my 30-second showers don't cleanse me enough, it's that breastfeeding makes some women more odorous. Yet another fact about childbearing that no one tells you. So if you don't know, now you know.. readers.
       (please stop reading now if you didn't pick up on that lyric from the genius that is Biggie. RIP)

I used to read Word Up magazine

So I guess that's only three items, one of which being deodorant. My life is sad. Sad, but not smelly.

The same day I took this photo, I saw a picture of Baby Lorenzo wearing the exact same shirt.  If you don't know who Baby Lorenzo is, you are seriously out of touch with the world of celebrity babies.

Confessions of a sleep-deprived mom

It's been a week since I last blogged. Oops. That's probably because my day-to-day is very uneventful and unchanging. Hanging out with the kid, maybe leave to go grocery shopping, and catching up on TV, pretty much all while holding him. I have all the time in the world, yet somehow no time to blog.

He recently had his two-month doctor visit though, and I'm happy to report that everything is looking good! Now at 10 and a half pounds, he jumped from the 3rd weight percentile to the 21st! Glad to see the two hour, on the hour, feedings have paid off. He also had to get two shots and I almost cried. Watching your own kid get shots and turn more red in the face than you thought humanly possible, while screaming at the top of his lungs... not fun. In slight fairness, I also got my flu shot, and probably whined more about my one sore spot than Harrison did about both of his. He's such a trooper.

 See how much he's grown! Courtesy of my stepdad's wonderful photography! 

I'll leave you with a few confessions...

1. I love rubbing diaper rash cream on Harrison's bum. Is that weird? So be it. I've always loved bums, but I don't get much interaction with his. Partly because I'm always scared that he will poop on me if I leave it exposed for too long, and partly because he simply has no bum. He was born with negative ass mass, and since has gained weight everywhere else except the bum. Therefore, I really enjoy what limited time I have to play with his bum, even if playing consists of wiping on a cream. I'm also just going to vouch for my sanity after writing that paragraph by saying that I am in the majority here. People who don't love little baby bums are clearly the minority, and probably heartless. Haven't you all heard the phrase, "Smooth as a baby's bottom"?

2. I hate, no- despise, the campaign trail. I don't really pay attention to politics normally, but when every other commercial is some political message denouncing this candidate and that candidate, its hard not to pay attention. I do not want to participate in something that has become more about hatred, pointing fingers, and negativity than it is about fixing our country. That being said, I'm all for appreciating that I do live in a country that allows us the right to vote, and I am not overlooking the fact that many people worldwide are not given that liberty, but I probably will not be voting in this presidential election. Neither candidate is really impressing me by blaming the other for his downfalls and personal shortcomings. Not to mention that I am not educated on the specifics of either's policy, so I am not going to simply just vote blindly and ignorantly because one has a (D) or an (R).. which I feel that a lot of voters probably do. Maybe its the flower child in me, but is world peace too much to ask for? Ok, yeah it is. How about just national peace then? Why is it that we look so poorly upon racism, but judging and stereotyping people based on their political affiliation is ok? That is the only thing I will ever say about politics, which is more than I ever thought I would ever comment in the first place. That might have just spurred a lot of opinions, but keep in mind that I'm a registered hippie, and peace is what I call for.

3. I used to cry when the Colts would lose a game. Back when their record would be 12-4, or 11-5. That's pretty embarrassing to admit, but when your team is going undefeated for the first 11 weeks of the season and you think theres a chance they go lose-less, those losses hurt. Now I am immune, after last season's pathetic record of 2-14. Hey, at least it toughened me up as a fan. And it's like, you appreciate things when you can't have them, so now I really, REALLY, love a win. Booyah Green Bay.

Mommy's little pumpkin

I'm really over these ridiculous outfits