Stop, Drop, and Roll

In an effort to avoid folding three loads of laundry, I will tell you all about how I almost just burnt the apartment down.

Dave's family came to stay this past weekend, to act as our babysitters. Yes, they drove 3 hours each way to babysit. The power of grandchildren. Dave's mom brought us some steaks in marinade, ready to be grilled and eaten. So easy, right?

She mentioned that we could broil them, so since I am grill-impaired and come on, isn't that the man's job anyway, I thought that going with the broil option would be a much safer choice.

Your cooking is NEVER safe

So I put the steaks under the broiler, walk away for TWO minutes, and come back to a kitchen FILLED with smoke and flames raging inside of the oven. Let's just say if Harrison had been awake, I would have grabbed him, ran screaming from the apartment, and dialed 9-1-1, but if I have a fear greater than a house fire, it is waking Harrison, so I was forced to deal with the oven fire in a calm, cool, and collected (ish) manner.

One hour later, I am still sitting in a freezing cold apartment, because all the windows are open to air out the smoke. Mind you it's 30 degrees out. I AM SUCH A TALENTED COOK.

I ate chips for dinner. Harrison- you're welcome for me eating so nutritiously while nursing you. You're welcome.

Speaking of fears, waking Harrison up is definitely number one, but the new number two, is him smashing his head open. His new favorite skill to practice is pulling up.

I need this ducky more than I don't need stitches in my head

Earlier, I looked away for one second, and found him trying to pull up on his toy basketball hoop, that weighs about 3 pounds and is in no way secure to the ground. I saw the slow motion of the thing coming crashing down on him, and Spidey-ed myself over to rescue him from the treachery. Spidermommy, Spidermommy, does whatever a Spidermommy does. ..Simpsons anyone??

Chips for dinner- Have you done it or am I alone on this one?

Lies and Points

There are a lot of things people just don't tell you about childcare when you are pregnant. It boggles my mind how much new information I came across post-baby, that would have been really useful before having the kid, buying all the shit, etc...

One laughable "fact" I received from my pediatrician, no less, was that babies grow out of their fussy stage by 3 months. FALSE. Lies, lies and more lies. I would have preferred to know the truth about this matter- that some babies might become less fussy at 3 months. Here I was, like a fool, thinking that by 3, possibly 4 months (giving it some leg room), that Harrison would magically be cured of the fussing. Obviously, this did not happen.

#proof

Basically my takeaway from this knowledge is that there are no absolutes for babies, and if you hear ANYTHING that remotely describes their behavior, take it with a very large grain of salt.

The latest discovery I've made is that Harrison will need a new carseat soon. What no one told me when I was registering for all his crap, was that if you buy a travel system (carseat and stroller in one, sort of), the kid will sooner or later grow out of that carseat and need a larger one. I mean, I know that sounds pretty obvious, but when you register for a $200 baby Mercedes Benz, you would hope that the baby could use it for longer than 3/4 of his life.

You calling me fat?

Now, don't get me wrong, I've LOVED my travel system and gotten a lot of use out of it, and I'm not sure how else you would transport a 5lb baby if not in a carseat that hooks into the stroller like a freaking Hummer-sized version of a stroller, BUT... I still would have preferred the knowledge that at around 20lbs, be prepared to shell out another $150 for a new one. Obviously, like all baby products, the carseat prices range from like real cheap ($75), to the net worth of my current vehicle ($350), so after extensive research, I've decided on one that is in between.

Which leads me to my next topic: my procurement of the funds.

About a week ago, my college/blogger/fabulous Manhattan-living friend, told me about the company she works for, EXPOtv. The website is a collection of video product reviews. You make little one minute videos of stuff you already own (Pampers products, Clearasil products, nail polish, sunglasses) and earn points for the videos. The points are redeemable for bomb things, like pretty much a gift card to anywhere. I just earned my first $100 Amazon gift card last night, and am closing in on another $50 one... hence the description of the carseat, and I've only been at it for a week.

If you need me to say that in clearer terms, I am getting the carseat fo free, by making 1 minute videos.

YAY! FREE STUFF!

I'm sure many of you have better uses of your time, but if you are an online shopping addict like me, then this will start to become the only use of your time. I am seriously addicted. Dave thought I like won the MegaMillions $338 million jackpot when I realized I had enough points to get my first Amazon gift card.

Here's my shameless part of the plug: if you like free money, which who doesn't, this is a perfect way to get it. You need to click this link (it helps me out, so just do it, because my life now revolves around getting points, so thanks).

I realize this makes me sound like a borderline extreme couponer, or something, but I'm ok with that. Since I don't work, this is my contribution, and it makes me really excited that I am even able to contribute without having to leave Harrison.

Do you have any unhealthy, shameless obsessions at the moment?

Brackets, Walkers, and Thursdays

I did something in life that I never thought I would do- filled out a bracket. I'm sure you all remember my rant about how much I hate March Madness and/or Syracuse, so I cannot tell you what got into me. I think I did it because if I have to put up with posts that are annoying as all hell for the next few weeks, I might as well take part. It's like when you really don't enjoy apple pie, but you have a piece because everyone else is, and you might as well eat some form of dessert rather than have no dessert at all. Your thoughts are correct- I don't like apple pie and I'm not human.

So you mean to tell me that we are aliens... ?

Incase you wanted strategical tips for how to fill out a bracket from someone who knows absolutely nothing about college basketball, here they are:

1. In a matchup between a state school and a non-state school, pick the state school. This is because SUNY Geneseo happens to be the best college on the planet, so state schools are where it's at.
2. Always pick teams that you have some emotional connection to. For example: My aunts and best friend live in Colorado, so pick Colorado always. Or like you are obsessed with the Colts, so Indiana it is.
3. When unsure, pick the team with the better name. This is why I have Gonzaga winning the tournament.
4. Syracuse will lose.

Those are clearly the keys to a winning bracket. You're welcome.

In Harrison-related news, we introduced a fun new toy yesterday:

You call THIS fun?

The sole reason we bought this walker is so that I don't get scoliosis. Pretty much every day, all day, I walk around the tiny apartment holding Harrison's hands so that he can walk, while my back is at a 90 degree angle. When I started researching walkers, there were two different kinds. The kind we purchased with wheels so that the babes can walk themselves around, or a version that looked similar to a harness-leash combo. You place the baby in the harness, and then hold onto these straps so that they can walk supported. It reminded me too much of the cray crays you see walking around the zoo or an amusement park with their child on a leash. Couldn't do it.

Please, no leash! I'll be a good boy I promise!

He hasn't figured out the walking portion of that contraption yet, but he enjoyed the toys for 15 minutes, and anything that will hold his attention for that long, is a winner in my book.

Today is Thursday. I used to love Thursdays like, so much. For one, it would be Thirsty Thursday. Duh. Also, in college, I almost never had class on Fridays, so Thursdays were the beginning of the weekend. This made Thursday my favorite day of the week sometimes. Now, I kinda hate them. You would think, since it is only one day away from it being Friday, I would still feel kinda warm and fuzzy towards them. But now, Friday is in no way the weekend, as it is Tax season and Saturdays are a workday. All I'm saying is that Thursdays are a cock tease to me now and I do not enjoy it. I'd even rather it be Monday because then, at least there are good shows on. 

What is your least favorite day of the week? (Gonna take a guess that yours is Monday, like the rest of the normal population)

Who do you have winning the Tournament?

Crawling, Enough Said.

Thank you for all the kind words after my last post. I was just having one of those awful, overly-hormonal days that every woman has, so even though I knew everything was just fine, it still helped to hear all of the encouragement!

My sister reminded me to keep my head up, because Alumni Weekend is just around the corner. We are a month and a half out, and already have our strategy down.

Just when I was starting to think that leaving Harrison overnight for the first time would be fine, and I shouldn't have to worry, I was presented with a rather huge issue. He has decided that he won't take a bottle. Or a cup. I guess this isn't as huge of an issue as I make it out to be in my own head, because he eats a fairly good amount of solids, so for the 15 hours or so that I might be away, I'm sure my parents can just stuff his face with cereal and sweet potatoes.

I do love dem sweet potatoez

The bottle/cup thing is more of an issue if I want to go back to work. And also if I ever want to put anything else in my freezer. Right now, the contents of my freezer are 90% breastmilk, and 10% frozen food goods. I would cry for like a week straight if that milk went to waste. But, it won't. Because Harrison WILL drink it, from a cup most likely. He rules me the majority of the time, but I WILL win on this issue.

On the same day that we were pinning him down, shoving bottles and cups in his mouth while he was screaming in our faces, he decided he wanted to make us proud in a different subject- mobilization. He crawled! I even have video proof.

That's about as far as we can get him to crawl, and this morning he basically forgot how to do it already, but it still counts! See? Told ya he would be right on track in the 7mo. crawling learning curve. We are calling it a St. Patty's Day miracle!

So while all of you were drinking your faces off for the Irish holiday, that is how we celebrated. What a difference a year makes.

I'm way more fun than alcohol 

Tonight is a very exciting night in my household. It is both the Biggest Loser finale, and the premiere of Dancing with the Stars. How will I decide what to watch, and when? I feel so conflicted. First world problem much?

How did you celebrate St. Patrick's Day?

A Lesson in Patience

Today's lesson is Patience. I've never been a patient person, but I realized that I needed to work on my patience this morning. Harrison woke up at 5:45am, and this is never a good sign. Basically, long story short, the nights he sleeps restlessly, he'll wake up superrr early, and be overtired and cranky for the entire day.

Maybe I wouldn't be cranky if you weren't showing my bum to the world

I fed him, burped him, and changed his diaper, and usually, that's enough to keep him happy first thing in the morning. But since today was just one of those days, he started crying immediately as I set him down to play with his toys while I went on with my business (important business, like making coffee). I simply cannot handle the crying that early, so I yelled at him. Why I think screaming in his face when he's already upset is going to make him stop, I don't know. Obviously, this only made things worse. Then, he looked at me with the SADDEST face ever, like "Mommy, please don't be mad at me, I'm trying!" It was that poor little face that made the lightbulb go off- I need to be more patient with him.

Even when I'm exhausted because neither of us slept, even when I haven't had my coffee yet, even when theoretically nothing should be wrong with him because he's fed, changed, and rested (sort of), he's just a little babe and as my mom says, crying is his only way to let me know that something IS wrong.

Yes, something is wrong. This hat. 

I already think he's growing up so fast, so when I blink my eyes and he's 15 months old, running around like a maniac, and doesn't need me as much anymore, I KNOW I'm going to look back on these moments and think about how much I miss his little-ness. How much I miss him crying just because I sat too far away from him and he can't reach me, or how much I miss carrying him around all day, because even though my arms get so tired I think they might break, and I start shaking like I might pass out because I really need to eat but he won't let me do anything but hold him- I will miss it. Because there will be one day, eventually, when he won't ever even want me to hold him.

Knowing I am such a sap like that, for one REALLY shocks me because I would have NEVER thought I would be like this, but secondly, makes me think working on my patience with him will go a long way. I hope it will help me enjoy him more, even his fussing. I hope it will help me be more attentive to his needs. I pretty much just hope it will help improve my quality of life.

I stumbled across a quote that sums up my life right now PERFECTLY. I saw it on one of my favorite mommy blogs, but it actually comes from the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower. 

source

I'm not trying to get a sympathy vote or anything, I just couldn't believe how perfectly it explained the way I feel lately. I love my life and I love being a mommy, but sometimes I get overwhelmed with the "what ifs". As in, what if we never got pregnant, and I wouldn't be missing out on all the things people in their early twenties get to do (travel, celebrate St. Patrick's Day, work on their career, pay off their loans, etc etc).

I realize this post is getting really depressing, and I don't want this to be a huge downer, so I'll switch gears. Things I'm happy about:

-Yesterday I got the LAST Almond Butter at Trader Joe's.
-I got some really cute new clothes for Harrison (hence the hat picture), and shopping for baby clothes is the most fun.
-Tomorrow marks ONE MONTH til the end of Tax Season aka until I no longer have to act as a single mom
-My hair looks really good today, in a weird dread-ish way

Do you ever feel sad for no reason, or are you one of those insanely annoying people who somehow manage to always be happy?

Blogging Love Affiar

Sometimes, I need my allotted blogging time to take a shower. Sometimes, I skip the shower and blog. So on the days you don't see one, you can rest assured that I cleansed myself, like a civilized member of society (and on the days I do blog, just know that I will go on to give myself a whore's bath, and I will smell nicely nonetheless).

I really need to stop discussing Harrison's sleeping successes on here. Everytime I do, I jinx myself horribly. For example, after writing that he slept for 10 hours straight, he punished me, and continued his pattern of waking no less than 4 times a night. I am really working on his sleeping, because his first overnight stay is approaching- Alumni Weekend, where I am leaving him with my parents, and I would really like to think they could be graced with a restful-ish sleep. So Mom and Vince, all of my efforts are for you, not for myself.

All of my friends are eagerly getting ready for St. Patrick's Day drunkenness this Saturday, and I will be stuck at home with the kid. 

You mean, Stuck at home with the stud.

Am I a bad person that when I saw the weather report for Saturday calling for reallyyy cold temps, and snow, I was glad? It's not that I want them to be tortured in the cold, I would just rather they have a litttleee less fun since I won't be there. But I guess my absence will be less fun for them anyways, so that's probably enough.

Lately, I have been reflecting on how happy I am that I am a member of the blogging community. It's obvious that I love lists, so let me list the ways:

1. Increased knowledge

Reading blogs is surprisingly educational. Commenters provide you with a lot of wisdom (not being sarcastic, I swear!), and reading of other blogs brings you even more knowledge. Some of my saving graces with Harrison have come from comments, or from reading other mommy blogs. Or like, when you want to find a delicious recipe for a cake full of peanut butter, and you search it, and you get directed to a blog FULL of delicious recipes, and you've made like 50% of them already. See? Increased knowledge base. An increase of delicious foods in my mouth doesn't hurt either. 

2. More friends

Or at least you think you have more friends. You stumble upon random blogs, fall in love with the blogger, and become so obsessed that you convince yourself you are the best of friends, despite having never met. In my sister's case, you eventually meet up with your cyber friends, and it's like you've gone through Match.com but for friendships. 

Its obvious that these two are so happy to be my friend.

3. Increased Confidence

One of my greatest joys in life is hearing from my friends, who I didn't think even read my blog, tell me how much they love it, or that my captions are really funny. Just discovering that I have readers is greatly cherished, and a boost of self-worth that I'm not just writing this to pretend I have a life that people care about.

What do you mean people don't care about me?

When people continue on to say that my captions are funny, they might as well be telling me that I just won the Nobel Peace Prize, because I have never been prouder of myself. 

4. Having a proper outlet

One of my biggest pet peeves in life is now when people overshare on social media. I am a member of social media communities to be able to keep tabs on a plethora of humans, not to know every single detail about a specific human's life. I am also a social media attendee to help entertain myself when I am bored. When you are clogging my feeds with ten thousand posts about the delicious dinner you made, the detailed account of your 2 hour workout (that was probably only 30 minutes in actuality), and how you are so over members of the opposite sex, yet constantly say how much you'd like to be in a relationship, you need to STFU. This would suggest that I need to just remove myself from social media, but who in this day and age can really do that? Just stop filling my feed with your bullshit that no one cares about, and we'd be good.

My point is that I am able to use my blog to discuss some of these topics in a venue that doesn't obstruct your stalking of everyone else. I am able to recount the details of my boring life, so that you can choose whether or not you want to read it. This, my friends, is the CORRECT way to overshare, if you desire. Facebook is not your personal blog, just fyi. 

So, because you all care about how obsessed I am with Kelly and Michael, this happened and I felt as though my life was complete.

My first celebrity retweet comes from the BEST celebrities

What do you love about blogging?

5am

The good news: Harrison slept 10 hours straight last night.

Him: I'm such a good baby!! Me: No you're not.  

The bad news: He has been waking up at 5am.

That's what you get for calling me a bad baby.

Let me elaborate on these new sleeping patterns. About a week ago, I decided Harrison was done eating at 2am. Too bad if you are hungry kid, mommy wants the sleep.

Cutting out our last nighttime feeding went pretty smoothly, or so I thought. He didn't put up any fight when I just stuck the pacifier back in his mouth, instead of picking him up to go nurse. Went right back to sleep. Until about 5am, when he woke up pretty fussy, and to my dismay, did not appear to want to go back to sleep.

This 5am wake up call has been the new norm. I physically cannot wake up at 5am to start the day and survive, so I pretty much lay in bed, praying that he will fall back asleep, while snoozing the baby monitor to pretend like he's not making any sound. If you think I am neglecting him, just know that the "Sleep Lady" says that early rising is not good for baby, and to let them stay in their crib until 6am before getting them up.

It seems to go this way with Harrison. We fix one issue, and another one pops up immediately. I am trying to see the silver lining here- that he slept for 10 hours straight, and we are one step closer to a full 12 hour stretch of sleep (yes, 12 hours is my goal, I know I'm crazy). It's just really hard to fix the issue of early rising because so many other factors can contribute to it (nap deprivation, timing of naps, timing of bedtime, etc etc). So needless to say, trying to fix this issue seems daunting, especially when waking up at 5am every day.

Thanks for being such an angel

One way that I am getting through this awful week is food. I mean, duh. But not just any food, the food of kings. My parents have been stuffing me like a Thanksgiving turkey lately and it is awesome. They bought us a dozen Bruegger's bagels, and really that would have been enough to let me die happy. On top of that, they made Mac and Cheese, Chili, mashed potatoes, Chicken Marsala, brownies, and pecan pie.

Name the movie quote- "I'd like partake of your pecan pie". Here's a suggestion: if you cannot name that quote, forget being friends with me any longer.

March Activities

I have to copy my sister and make sure you are all aware of what I am looking forward to in the month of March. However, let me first start by saying that I am sure as hell NOT looking forward to this Sunday, when I will be functioning (or.. not functioning) on one less hour of sleep. Daylight savings time- while I enjoy you in the Spring because you bring longer stretches of sunlight, I cannot handle you robbing me of a much needed hour of sleep.

I guess I'm not alone

1. I am such a sucker for Dancing with the Stars, and I really am not ashamed to admit this. I forgot to mention in my post about my Gram, is that I also get a love for trashy reality television from her. Since no one else in my family is a devoted viewer of all of the Housewives' shows, I know this trait comes from her. Anyways, DWTS premieres in a couple weeks, and I am counting down the days (13!!). I am already rooting for Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas, and obviously for Lisa Vanderpump and whoever her dance partner is. See, the Housewives win again.

Beautiful, Beautiful people

2. Social Outings. I have TWO this month! Well, two and a half, technically. Can you even get over how popular I am?? My girl friend is having a birthday dinner, and I already made sure Dave can rearrange his insane work schedule to make sure he is home in time for me to go. Second, Dave was invited, with a plus one, to a Celebrate Agriculture dinner and I get the be the plus one. Not quite sure what to expect as we celebrate agriculture, but hopefully it includes a scrumptious meal, and an open bar (really rooting for that open bar but I think it's a long shot). Afterwards, we will be hightailing it back to Brockport because my favorite band everrrr is playing. The best part is that we have the babysitter covered, so that's like, 6 hours of freedom, food, and wine.

I'm drunk too!

3. Harrison crawling, hopefully. He is SO close, I feel like it could be any day now. But watch, I just jinxed it, and he will accomplish this milestone in his 8th month of life instead.

Yeah, I do what I want.

I'm actually surprised the mother of the genius child that rolled over and laughed at 6 weeks, and said "dada" at 4 months, didn't claim her daughter was crawling 3 months ago.

If you think we didn't evolve from apes, here is your proof. 

What are you excited for this month?

Hating on many things

Ever since my pledge to talk about Harrison less, I've been really struggling to think of topics for a post.   My day-to-day is so monotonous that if I talked about that every day, it would be this: woke up, ate three breakfasts, played with Harrison, tried to get a shower in but his 40 minute nap prevented me from one, watched my shows, did some dishes, played with Harrison more, and ate the rest of the food all day. And that's boring.

Wait, you don't think this is FUN? 

Yesterday had a little shaking up due to a trip to the mechanic. Currently, both of our cars are on the fritz. Dave's car lost heat, and since that is the car I primarily drive with Harrison, it presents an issue.

Toasty warm

The windshield wipers on my car broke, also an issue. I went in with my car, and after waiting an hour while I thought they were fixing the issue, the guy came out only to tell me that he was missing a part, and I would have to come back tomorrow after they got it in. So why did that take you an hour? Did you not notice I had a fussy child that demanded to be held the entire 60 minutes, and out of courtesy and kindness, could have hurried up your little diagnosis? If you couldn't tell, car issues and mechanics are really not friends of mine. The best part, it might cost us up to $350. For windshield wipers. Wait, that's not even the best part. The REAL best part is that my car is probably only worth $400-500 at this point. Fail. 

We have entered the month of March, which means my Facebook feed was bombarded with a whole bunch of March Madness crap. I've never cared about this little trend in the past, but that's because I wasn't friends with a bunch of Syracuse fans in the past. March might be my new most hated month of the year. I get it, you are from Syracuse, so you root for them. I'm not even close to being from Indy, and I root for the Colts like my life depended on their wins. However, at the risk of alienating some of my friends, Syracuse fans are like, especially obnoxious (this is probably only because I know so many of them now, that I like, can't get away). It becomes more and more apparent as each March Madness season goes by that I really despise Syracuse basketball more than any other team in any other sport. Sorry I'm not sorry. (and just fyi: to anyone that gave us Syracuse baby gear for Harrison, he will never wear it, and I've probably given it all away already... or at least plan to give it right on back to you when you have children. Again, not sorry.)

Syracuse losses are SO funny