Working Out for dummies

I know I'm a little late to this, but incase any of you were wondering, my Thanksgiving went great! The bread was miraculously edible! It tasted great, just was a little dry. Harrison slept through the entire meal, which was yet another miracle.

One of the nights, we got into Dave's old baby pictures, and I have to share the findings. I also must note that prior to this discovery, I had no idea who Harrison looked like. I've been told he has my eyes, Dave's nose, etc... so I guess I could distinguish certain features, but overall, thought he looked like neither. Until now..

Harrison at 3 months

Dave at 3 months 

Tell me that's not like a mirror image? Just put a little hair on Harrison's head and that is the same baby. 

I also got a few workouts in over the long weekend. HA just kidding. I mean, for me they were workouts, but for the normal person who actually exercises more than once every 9 months, they were simple tasks. First, Dave and I had an intense dance battle via Kinect's Dance Central. After about 4 dances, we were both sweating balls, winded, and ready for a water break. This made me feel a little better about my own endurance (or lack thereof) since Dave was equally out of breath. Sweating = a workout, right?

Next, Harrison and I competed in our first 5k! And by competed, I mean walked. I pushed the stroller along at a quite leisurely pace, Harrison slept, and we still managed to pass people. I've never walked a 5k before, so I'd say this was a PR for both of us.

When we got back to Brockport, I had the brilliant idea to put this thing together.

Disclaimer: ladies, a little advice- if there is ever some sort of baby contraption that needs to be assembled, always, ALWAYS have your significant other do it. Up until this point, Dave has put together every other baby accessory- the swing, crib, mobile. I would look on and think: I don't need to offer any help, he's got this, piece of cake. 

Oh no. I was wrong. I consider assembling this silly thing to be my third workout of the week, because I was sweating equally, if not more, than I was during the dance-off. I laughed, I cried, I acquired injuries. And it was all for nothing, because for one, Harrison's feet don't even touch the floor when you put him in it. He has an inch or two left before he'll be able to use it safely. Two, he was content for about a minute before he started wailing. So much for that project. At least I got some cute pictures of a naked baby.

Quick Bread woes

This will be my last post until at least next week. Sad, I know. We are travelling to Watertown for Thanksgiving, and my boyfriend's family has something I didn't even know still existed- limited internet. As in, no wireless. I'm not even sure what method they use, but it definitely doesn't allow me enough time to blog. 

I am very excited for Thanksgiving at the Porters' though, because Dave's mom is an excellent cook. I often have to force myself to not take thirds of her cooking, but seconds is unavoidable. Needless to say, I will be wolfing down her food similar to how I wolfed down my mom's on Saturday. Thank god for all the calories I'm burning producing milk for the hungry hungry hippo. 

I wanted to bring a dish to share, but this makes me extremely nervous, since comparing my creation to Lisa's creations is basically a death sentence. I will be bringing scalloped corn. Don't ask me how I settled on this, or why. As if my cooking will never compare to hers anyways, I'm apparently making their grandma's recipe of this dish, so I am completely doomed. Why did I think bringing corn to a farmer's Thanksgiving, people who specialize in corn for a LIVING, was a good idea? 

I decided it was necessary to make a test run of the dish, just to make sure it wasn't poisonous. I made the test run for our Fakesgiving last weekend, and it wasn't half-bad! Almost the entire casserole dish was gone by the end of dinner! I think that's a good sign??

Then, in a delusional state, I thought bringing a second dish would be a good choice. It's Melissa's family's brown bread recipe. I was introduced to it a few years ago, when I went to their Thanksgiving, and have been addicted ever since. My reasoning was that it would be nice to bring one dish that was expected, and a second as a surprise treat. 

Call me crazy, but I've never baked a quick bread before. I'm hindered by the fact that my mom's are just too delicious- why bother making my own? I'm additionally hindered by our g.d. oven. As a renter, I don't expect top notch appliances, but this oven really shits the barrel. The temperature dial is no where near accurate, so it usually runs at least 15 degrees hotter than you set it at. I've tried to dial back to adjust for this discrepancy, but somehow I always, always manage to burn things.

To my delight, the bread had been in the oven, smelling delicious, so here I was thinking things were going smoothly. When my timer went off, I go to pull the bread out only to see that the edges are starting to burn. But, here's the kicker- the inside of the bread was still mushy. Meaning that it wasn't fully cooked throughout, but I couldn't put it back in the oven in fear that the edges would burn even more. BUST BUST BUST. Strongly considering just not even bringing that one. 

Doesn't even look good

I then had a minor freakout telling myself that I will never be a good cook or baker, and I will just quit while I'm ahead now, never to cook or bake again.

The food you give me is delicious, Mom!

But I'd rather eat my foot

What's more exciting than a new layout?

Welcome to my new blog! Quite frankly, I think it looks pretty spectacular. You are not allowed to have a different opinion. hah but seriously, it took me all of yesterday morning to perfect it. I was practicially hypnotized by my own blog, because I physically could not do anything until it was complete. You may not think it looks pretty enough to warrant 3 hours of my time, but yes, that is how long it took me. So I hope you all appreciate it. Especially since I had a different template design settled on within 2 minutes, but my sister informed me that many of my readers would refuse to read centered text, and since the text was locked for that template, it was bye bye to that. You're welcome.

I feel like I have a lot of useless information to update you on. Sheila's fish recipe was a big hit, and she has plenty more where that came from, so I suggest you go look at them. And while I'm in my shoutout section here, I have to thank Rachael for saving my blog's life. She was the genius who suggested how to fix the design of it.

Fakesgiving was splendid. Harrison was a cranky boy as per usual, wouldn't nap as per usual, and had to be held in rotation while we ate dinner as per usual, but we're all used to it now so we still had a great time!

Starting his modeling career early

I would have to say there were dual highlights. First, and most obvious, was my mom's cooking. I wolfed that shit down like I was on Survivor and hadn't had a real meal in 30 days. Second, was Marc getting drunk off of red wine, and claiming that it was like Alyssa and Eric's wedding all over again. Many of you will not be able to appreciate this for how great it is, but when Marc gets that drunk, it is easily the most entertaining thing anyone can experience.

We found a recipe for a Christmas cocktail. I'm not excited or anything

Today is Dave and my 2 year anniversary. Harrison decided to give us the greatest gift of all, and slept through the night last night. Granted, he went to bed around 8:30, and I woke him up for a little late-night snack around 10:30, but he didn't wake himself up til 6. I call that a victory. Not sure if that technically qualifies as "sleeping through the night" since I did feed him once in the span that he was asleep, but in my mind, it does.

This is how he fell asleep last night- sitting up. 

Other than that, our anniversary night tonight will include the riveting activities of Dave studying for his CPA exam, and me watching the results show of Dancing With the Stars. I am dying of anticipation for such excitement.

I'm hungry

All I can think about is food. And rightly so, because I have so many great food events coming up this week. No, I'm not PMS-ing, just a fattie.

Tonight, my brother is coming over and I am planning on making a recipe that I have been drooling over for weeks. It came from my friend, Sheila's blog. It's basically like two of my favorite foods mashed together into one tasty explosion in your mouth (insert the "thats what she said" jokes), Salt and Vinegar Haddock. Fish, covered in salt and vinegar chips, and baked. DROOLING. I will let you know how it turns out. 

Thursday, Dave and I will celebrating our 2-year anniversary. I have seriously deliberated over what restaurant to go to for weeks, and we finally settled on one last night. Initially, I dreamed of going to the  Melting Pot. I have heard that it is absolutely scrumptious, but highly expensive, so the day when there was a Groupon for it felt like the heavens were answering my prayers. Due to my luck, I log onto Groupon to purchase it and it is sold out. I cried actual tears. 

After this extreme disappointment, I felt like no other dining experience could live up to my dreams of fondue greatness. Then, Dave suggested this cute, little place that has gourmet burgers and wood-fired pizza. I realized that the term, "gourmet burger" is the way to my heart, and agreed that this would be the winner. Plus, my bff Kait (aka. Curls), told me she recently got a mojito when she was out, and I have been craving one ever since. Mojitos and gourmet burgers and I'm one happy girl. 

Saturday will be the culmination of my week of good eats. It is my family's second annual Fakesgiving. My mom always works on Thanksgiving so that she can have Christmas off, so we started doing our own Thanksgiving on a different day so that no one would miss out. Can I just say that having two Thanksgiving meals a year is amazing. Fattening, but amazing. We will eat, drink, and pass Harrison around like a play thing. 

Last year's invitiation/menu. I went all out. Little did I know that all that alcohol I was drinking was going straight to Harrison's embryo. 

I know I said yesterday that I was too afraid to snap a picture of Harrison napping in his crib. Well, I overcame my fear and went for it. 

Hard to tell, but that's his pacifier wedged into his right cheek. 

A rare Monday morning post

I have to tell you that my quality of life has recently improved DRAMATICALLY. Obviously, so dramatically that it needed to be in caps. Long story short- Dave's mom was visiting Friday night, and somehow magically came up with the formula for getting Harrison to nap in his crib. I'm not sure if I'm just an inadequate mother and have no idea about any aspect of motherhood, or if she's just gone through it 3 times before and has an edge up. Probably a combination. She came up with the brilliant idea of stuffing teddy bears around Harrison's body to recreate the feeling of being held. GENIUS. Since Saturday morning, he has taken almost every nap in his crib (with the exception of our first morning nap, where I just nap with him, because cuddling is just so much better than sleeping alone). I wish I could take a picture of the teddy bear engulfment, but I'm too deathly afraid it will wake him up.

Since there's no picture of the teddy bear arrangement, I will supplement with a picture of him AS a teddy bear. 

Ways my quality of life has improved:
1. First and foremost, being able to use the laptop with both hands, thus typing with both hands, thus being able to blog.
2. Getting stuff done. This morning, I was able to pick up the apartment, put laundry away, and even went all out getting ready and put eyeshadow on. This NEVER happens. I had to take advantage of all the extra time I had, you know?
3. Sanity. It really was taking a toll on my psyche that I had no time to myself. Harrison was attached to me literally at all times. A few nights ago, I was screaming in his face telling him to stop crying, thinking that was the preferred method of quieting him down. I had lost it, just a little.
4. Eating a meal that I don't have to shove down my throat in a matter of 14 seconds. This is especially enjoyable, since I love food.

Pretty much

In addition to all that greatness, I am getting my hair did today. So, because all of you know me, you know that my hair is really freaking thick, and often can resemble dreads. I have many a time contemplated just dreading it, to try to prove that dreads can be hot and/or because I just get so sick of it that twisting it into dirty little hair logs and never having to wash it would be preferable. My point is, that my hair takes a LOT of maintenance  and I shouldn't go more than 6-8 weeks without getting it tamed. It has been 4 months since my last cut. See the sacrifices I make for you, Harrison? I am more than excited. Like, have been looking forward to this for an embarrassingly long time.

My obsession with hair is another reason that I get so upset that Harrison is bald. I see other little babies that are born with a full head of hair and become overwhlemed with jealously and rage. Dave and I both have dark, curly hair, so where is Harrison's jew fro? Seriously.

What? My baldness isn't cute??

Baby Rolling

I have exciting news! Harrison rolled over for the first time yesterday! I'm obviously a very proud mommy right now. Who would have thought that like two years ago, my excitement in life came from dressing up for theme parties on the weekend, and now I'm ranting and raving to anyone who will listen about how amazing my son is.

Anyways, the day started off a little rocky. As evidence:

He has a little mouth infection, so I figured the day was doomed with endless crying and irritability. I had to put my foot down. I pretty much thought I would lose my mind if I stayed home all day with that, so I took matters into my own hands and texted my bff, Melissa, to see if she was not working so I could visit. To my delight, she was off for the day, so I packed Harrison into his carseat, and we went on a little adventure. You know when your "adventures" consist of driving into the city of Rochester, your life is pretty lame.

I had recently read that 3 month old babies need to start spending more time on their tummies, in order to develop neck strength and shit like that. So of course I went a little psychotic on the tummy time front, and decided that it was my new mission. This was like a mere two days ago that I embarked on the belly mission. I wanted him to roll over before the 4 month mark, which is the average rate for babies to roll over according to my pediatrician, so I was amazed when it only took him two days of extra tummy time, and 3 months and 1 week to do it!

I don't know what came over me, but it was as if I knew it was coming, because I told Melissa to film the ordeal with her iphone. Sure enough, we were able to capture the moment. Plus, it helps that Melissa is a connoisseur of iphone documentation.

I had to cut the video a little short to be able to send it to myself to get it on here, but you get the jist.

Did I just put myself up to a standard of having to catch all of his "firsts" on video?? Uh oh.

The poor turkeys

Sooo theres a looming event that I am getting really nervous about, and no, it's not the results of the presidental election (because with that, I don't give a f***. oops, I said it). Theres this turkey farm that I have to drive by almost every day, and those little turkeys are not so little anymore, if you catch my drift. They are rapidly plumping, just in time for a certain holiday where millions of them get slaughtered.

To be clear, I'm all for the turkey consumption on Thanksgiving. What would Thanksgiving be without the bird sacrifice? And let's not forget the stuffing. My mom makes the BEST stuffing. So, okay, the turkey is a necessary part of the day.

There have been a few years in the past where I have forgone my own consumption of turkey in order to take a stand. When there's mashed potatoes, stuffing, squash, pumpkin pie, etc etc, the turkey isn't so missed. Take my word for it.

I have not decided this year if I will be eating turkey or not, but I can tell you that I am seriously dreading the day when there are no turkeys left at the turkey farm. Driving past and getting to see their little selves clucking around and frolicking away really excites me. It is easily my favorite part of the drive. That may sound extremely strange, but as someone whose power animal is a bird, I connect with my fellow bird species.

I even dressed Harrison up as a turkey in respect.

I look ridiculous. 

But for the sake of your blog, I guess I'll smile

haha I lied. I just needed to throw some pictures in here and pretend that they are related.

Excuses

I'm just gonna come out and say that I feel pretty guilty for not blogging in over a week. I'd like to think  I have a good reason for that, but I don't. I'm just full of excuses, so I'll list them off for you to feel sorry for me and sympathize with my blogging inefficiencies (when really I deserve no sympathy).

Excuse #1: Harrison is the world's worst baby. Ok maybe not the WORLD'S worst, but he's up there. It's a weird phenomenon that I love him more than words can say, but I also very seriously accuse him of being a bad baby. I hate when people ask, "Is he a good baby?" and then scoff at me when I say no. It's like, if you didn't want to know the answer, don't ask. Especially if you are planning on judging me if I don't rave about how good my baby is. I'm starting the think the concept of a "good baby" is a myth. Or at least a foreign language in my world.

So why does Harrison's bad behavior mean I can't blog? I've said it before and I will say it again, incase you thought I was exaggerating (which I'm not): Harrison has to be held at all times. The second I even begin the downwards motion to set him down on the floor or on the couch he begins to wail. I allow him to cry only long enough for me to scarf down a sandwich or bowl of cereal, but thats about all I can handle of that dreadful noise. I feel as though the sound of him crying makes my ears bleed. The only reason I've been able to attend to this blog post is because he discovered his feet and is FASCINATED. Videos to come.

Excuse #2: Darcyitis. This was a name my Mom came up with a while ago for the sickness I get like 23 times a year. The symptoms of Darcyitis are sore throat, runny nose, fever aka. a cold. So it's not like I'm contracting leperacy. However, I do tend to get sick more than the average person, so we felt it appropriate to name the sickness after me. I've had Darcyitis the past couple days, so when I wasn't lying helpless on the couch, my only energy was devoted to changing diapers. I had none to spare for blogging.

Now that I'm better, I knew one of my first goals was to complete a blog post. I have to say, I went to dinner with some of my girlfriends the other night, and one of them told me that she is an avid reader, and really nothing excites me more. Thanks, Emily!

Last night was Halloween, so revealing Harrison's costume was another motivator for me to post. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I made one good looking baby. The picture of his costume on Facebook got 90 likes. I'm also not a huge proponent of Facebook, like, the last time I actually posted a status was about two years ago when I thought people actually cared about when I was showering and getting ready to go out. News flash: no one does. But anyways, the fact that the picture got so many likes was not exciting to me on a Facebook popularity level, but rather on a my kid is so darn cute level.

We decided to go with the cow costume after the disappointing realization that both the lion and elephant costumes I was waffling between were both sold out. Sorry for subjecting you to a pointless poll. I'm sure I've mentioned before that Dave's family are dairy farmers, so a cow was the next best option.

I look ridiculous and refuse to smile 

This Saturday is Harrison's 3 month birthday! It does not feel like 3 months have gone by. We had to shoot his 3 month picture a couple days early, becuase my stepdad and mom are on their way to Baltimore to visit my sister and brother-in-law. Lucky you, I'm posting it early. 

Touching his peepee already. I'm screwed. 

I am extremely jealous that my parents get to visit my sister and Eric in the wonderful land of Baltimore. Baltimore got hit pretty hard by the bitch, Sandy, so we are thankful that Alyssa and Eric got out unscathed. We were also very lucky that the storm didn't ravage us, but we were left with one souvenir in it's aftermath:

Wall Boob

That's right: a wall boob. I bet you're jealous you don't have one.