Recollections of Lactation

The weaning has begun. Any male readers might want to skip this post.

So basically, it's been a pretty good run with breastfeeding. We got off to a rough start, where Harrison decided he wouldn't latch at the hospital until the very last second. At which point, they shoved us out of that place, and off we were with hardly any guidance or success.

However, we made it on our own, with the help of a nipple shield for 4 months. It was fun when I would lose that thing and Harrison would be screaming for milk, yet would not latch without it, and the closest store that sold them was 35 minutes away, and I would be crying that he was crying. Good times.

We've come so far

Once the era of the nipple shield was over, we had a pretty smooth run, until we hit the era of the biting. This was about a month ago, coinciding with the arrival of his two front teeth, so he obviously felt that he needed to bite down on anything and everything. Don't worry though, he only drew blood once, and that injury only bled for a couple days. It's fine, I'm over it. (Sarcasm... will never be over that). The sight of my pumped breastmilk with a pinkish tint from the blood, is one I will never get out of my head.

And throughout all this hardship, was the most terrible hardship of them all: when Harrison decided he was too good for a bottle. Straight from the source, only. This was quite literally like being handcuffed to my child. I couldn't leave him without the fear of him going hungry, and when I did leave, the fear of him going hungry consumed my every thought.

Psh.. I'll eat anything. I'm an angel

With all this complaining I'm doing, you would think I would be 100% ready to be done nursing. In some ways, I am, but in others I'm not. For one, I complain about being starved at all times and never being able to feel satiated, yet I'm sure as hell going to miss the calorie burning. Exercise is no friend of mine, so I have a feeling that once my nursing career is over (for now anyway), and I might be forced to work out more than once every 3 months, I'll miss BFing, a lot.

I'll also miss the closeness. As you know, Harrison hates being touched. Not just by strangers, by everyone, including his dear mother. I can't even rub his little head without him immediately grabbing my arm and forcibly taking it off his head. He's stronger than he looks. So, nursing is my only chance to cuddle/be close to him, and let's face it... I am a mush about the cuddling so I will be a little depressed that it will be gone from my life.

Despite the parts of BFing that I will miss, the things I gain definitely outweigh. One word: Caffeine.  Being able to consume as much caffeine I desire for the first time in like 21 months is extremely exciting.

Also, to be able to fit into all of my old bras is basically going to be like being freed from shackles. Now, I'm on a rotation of three bras. Let me rephrase that for you, for 11 months, I've been on a rotation of 3 bras. I'm complaining about this as if I didn't have a single penny to put towards purchasing more bras, but I could never find the same ones I have, and I was afraid of change. Listen, nursing is an uncomfortable activity and finding the right bra is essential. First world problems, I think.

I also can't wait for... and pardon me sounding like an alcoholic here.. to consume the occasional 5pm happy hour beverage. I usually wait til after Harrison's last nursing of the day, or until after I had pumped, to have a drink, but soon, I can just have one whenever I damn well please.

I am trying to keep my outlook about the end of BFing positive, and not dwell on the things I will miss. Who would have thought I would have turned into one of those addicted-to-breastfeeding crazies?

Please someone, save me from the crazy lady!

 In any case, I need to focus on the here and now, and that is the weaning process. The soreness to come is paralyzing me with terror.

It's too hot for this

I've been getting harassed at my absence from the blog. But I am a busy lady. Not having a job keeps me occupied 99% of the time. Really though, I have been a little bit busier as of lately, and I will list to you the reasons why and how it prevents me from blogging:

1. We are moving and I am responsible for ALL of the packing.

This is really fun for me, because if there's anything I hate more than packing/moving, it's nothing. There is nothing more miserable. When we moved into this apartment, there were only two humans that needed to be packed for. Now, there are three. More like two and a half, actually, but that little half-sie has more shit than either one of the full humans. He also refuses to let me pack in peace, and instead considers the activity a game, in which he starts pulling all out of the items I put in the box. Impossible.

Babies just wanna have fun

Luckily, his room is done, and I have our bedroom mostly done. I have approximately two weeks left to finish the rest of the apartment and then it's go time.

I'm really excited about our move because we are transitioning from tiny, run-down, everything-is-broken apartment, to a full, beautiful house. Not our house, we are renting it, but still. I am excited to actually have a yard to play in (with swingset included!), to have our own washer and dryer (hallelujah), to have a working oven/dish disposal/kitchen in general, to have more space, etc etc the list goes on. I'll let you know how I'm faring when I actually have to clean this whole house though.

2. Harrison has been sick for over a week and counting.

He got sick last Monday. It was just a little cold, and I think related to the four teeth he's getting in, but if you can imagine a small child with snot running down his nose at ALL times, then you can probably imagine the scenario where I get sick too. Which is exactly what happened. Luckily, I think I only caught the mild version of whatever he had, so no worries, I was still able to go out Friday night to the Zoo Brew and go drink with all the animals.

Not amused.

3. It is too damn hot.

We don't have AC in our apartment (add that to the list of reasons why I'm excited for the new house), so 99% of my waking hours, it is too hot to sit with a laptop blowing hot air onto my lap in order to blog.

Do you see the horrible things that the humidity is doing to my hair?

4. I'm lazy.

Enough said.

5. Wedding planning takes up all of my free time, which you knew.

Be advised that we have a date and venue finally! It is the greatest relief of my life. I texted all of my friends as soon as I finalized it to have them share in my excitement with me. One of them even responded with this:

To which I delighted in knowing that the biggest day of my life is as important to others as it is to me.

T minus 6 days until wedding dress shopping. Basically, this blog has become a public countdown for me to brag about going to try on beautiful dresses. Yahoo!! Stay tuned in 6-7 days for the reveal of whether or not I found one.

Plans, Plans, and more Plans

I used to be such a social butterfly. Now, when I have plans two out of seven days, I am ecstatic. Tomorrow, I am having my first "playdate" with another mommy and her daughter, of like, nearly equal age to both myself and my child. WHAT? My spawn is 10 months old and I haven't met another like me yet? Yes, sad, I know.

Please find us some friends, please. (sidenote: that HAIR!! FINALLY)

We are going to the beach which should be interesting because neither baby likes the grass, and we recently discovered that if Harrison hates anything more than the grass, it's the sand. Fun times ahead for sure. But really, I am looking forward to discussing mommy things that the rest of my friends don't care about, and watch the two wee ones interact, and possibly taking a few hundred pictures of it. I mean, I have to document it for the blog right?

Tomorrow night, I am returning to my favorite place on earth. Ok, more like one of 3, those being: Geneseo, Disney World, and Selena's Mexican Restaurant. One of my gfs just got engaged, so not only am I happy that this means there is yet another person like me whom I can exchange with, but it obviously called for a girls night, and a girls night obviously calls for margs. Done and done.

Milk laced with Mexican food is the last thing I need. Do you see these boobs?

So for a girl that never has any plans, going from zero in a day to two in one day is amazing. Assuming Harrison behaves like I think he will on our playdate- devilish, then it's actually perfect that I planned to go out and drown my grievances with some tequila. In his defense, he is getting at least three, maybe four teeth in AT ONCE, so there's nothing anyone can do. It takes all my strength to not scream at him for his constant whining, because I know he's just uncomfortable. Babies have it so hard.

I need to play and walk and it's not easy

Walk This Way

I've been very excited to write this post, but I was waiting until the right moment. Aka, waiting until I got a really good video of the action.

Harrison is officially walking. Here is your proof:

This is both exciting and terrifying. Although, maybe not as terrifying as I thought. I'm sure the running full speed ahead into sharp edges and planted objects phase is coming shortly, but as of now, he's extremely good at catching himself before a full-on face plant.

It's cute and endearing because all he wants to do is walk. He will fall 237 times in a row, but still get right back up and take a couple more steps. This fearlessness is a good quality, maybe for now anyway. Sometimes actually I think he is a little too fearless.

Now, we just have to work on the speech. Still have not heard a single "mama" or "dada" or anything remotely resembling a word out of the English dictionary, just a lot of groaning and blabbering. I am being careful what I wish for though, because I have heard from other moms that once they start talking, they never STFU, so I'll stay content in the land of quiet while I can.

Tonight, we were all set up with babysitters to go continue our stint as the Something Else band groupies, but Hurricane Andrea is ruining our shit. They are playing at a local park festival, outside, and I really am NOT a fan of the rain. It is supposed to rain basically all evening, so I'm a little disappointed. However, give me enough cups of beer and maybe I can make that happen.

Tomorrow, we have a couple appointments to go check out wedding venues in the Rochester area. This is partly exciting, and partly anxiety-inducing, since I am scared I will fall in love with one of the venues, then be crushed when I find out how much it is. Oh, isn't that just the life. Fingers crossed!

In the spirit of Harrison's walking, and that I can't get the song "Walk This Way" out of my head, and I like to take polls to help in my wedding planning...

Tell me one song you absolutely have to hear at a wedding. (It's never too early to work on the wedding playlist- I mean, isn't that one of the most important aspects of the night anyway?)

I love lists!!!

I can't believe it's already June. Well, actually I can, because it was 90 degrees over the weekend and I was melting in my un-airconditioned, second floor apartment.

I do have some good news!

1. My crotchety neighbor moved out!!! HALLELUJAH. PRAISE JESUS.

2. Harrison has reached a new record of number of steps taken in a row without falling: 15. Also, he just turned 10 months today!

One-handed walking is almost proof. I just wanted to show the cuteness

3. Wedding dress shopping appointments have been made. Forget that we don't even have a wedding venue yet- as long as I have a dress, right? This girl loves to shop so I don't think I have ever looked forward to anything more in my life.

4. Harrison is currently on his way to a 2 hour nap. You have no idea how happy this makes me. SO HAPPY.

5. Baby shower. I know some women dread these like the plague, but this one happened to be for my bff  and it was the first time really seeing her bump. Sexually harassing her bump was so fun, and only second on the fun scale to holding a newborn child, which I get to do in approximately two months. Horray.

The bad news:

1. Harrison is a little devil/criminal/caveman because all he wants to do is destroy all of the things and eat all of the things. I swear his only concerns in life are: What can I put into my mouth and rip to shreds with these dagger teeth, or What can I put into my mouth that's devourable?

I had the joy of stumbling upon these sights yesterday:

2lb canister of oatmeal everywhere. Just everywhere.

The culprit

So that was fun. I actually wasn't even mad because we have had that oatmeal forever and never eat it, and the look on his face was so hilarious that I couldn't do anything but laugh.

2. Dave took Harrison to the beach without me, and gave him ice cream for the first time, and I was not there to witness it. This had me fuming/depressed/crying. I missed my own son's first taste of the creamy deliciousness that I am so fond of? Like wtf. However, Dave caught the cutest face ever in the aftermath, so I've recovered.

WHY IS THIS SO GOOD?

3. I fear that I am drying up and this fear is consuming my life. I really wanted to make it to a year, which I'm not even sure is realistic since Harrison's two front teeth have become my new arch nemesis. I don't think details are necessary, but just picture blood. Anyways, I have two months left and my only goal for these next months are to squeeze out every last drop and make myself one of those stellar moms who breastfeed until a year.

I am also relishing these last two months as the last 60 days before Operation Wedding Starvation commences. Jokes.. but like, the endless, no-guilt eating spree is about to be over (so I guess endless is not the right word), and I am sad about it, and living it up while I can. Burgers every night, please and thank you.

What is the one food you would eat if no calories were involved?