Dada

It's no surprise that I cannot stand when other moms make false claims about their babies. Actually, one of my only mommy-friends and I have a sport of texting each other when we see a false, delusional claim and making fun of that mom endlessly, while also patting ourselves on that back for not being deranged like that. So, the other night, an event occurred that I don't even know I can share publicly, since I'm afraid that people won't believe it.

Or maybe it's because I don't believe it either. Too good to be true, or something. Keep in mind that my son is nearly 15 months old. He may or may not have said his first word. He was in the bath, and after like 100 times of us obnoxiously saying "dada" in his face, he looked at us and repeated it! Albeit very slowly, like "da......da" but maybe that still counts? Votes? We also were screaming "Yay!!" in his face right after and he looked very proud of himself so again, that counts, right? 

And the silence ends... now. For forever.

Either way, it's going in the baby book so that I can pretend to no longer be paranoid that he's behind and/or has a learning disability. Sidenote: he's actually really smart, and comprehends a lot, so really I think he's fine. Like when we say "Harrison, show us your belly!" he immediately pulls his shirt way up, like over his face, and flashes us. It is the. cutest. thing. If you've never witnessed this side show before, I suggest you find a way to LeRoy, NY to see the Flashing Baby ASAP.

For my next trick, watch me walk around in the shoes of giants

Halloween is later this week. Some of you already know what Harrison and I (and Dave) are dressing up as, but since I have no pictures yet, the rest of you will have to wait. Part of me does not know why I paid money to dress the entire family up for a whopping 30 minutes, while we Trick-or-Treat with a child who hates all humans and all experiences that are outside of his own dwelling, but what's done is done. To add to the misery, Harrison and I are meeting one of my friends at the Strong Museum of Play for their Trick-or-Treating event as well. So, two rounds of Trick-or-Treating for the Boy Who Hates All The Things. It should definitely be interesting, and if all else fails (which it will), at least I will have collected so much candy to drown my sorrows in. Next year, or possibly the year after- if I can stand to wait, I am pulling the "I ate all of your Halloween candy" trick on him to see how hilarious his reaction is. If you think that's cruel, you've obviously never seen the Jimmy Kimmel skit about it... watch that shit now.

Ridiculously large cowboy hats are my FAVORITE 

What are you dressing up as for Halloween?

Weekend Freedom

Just wanted to do a quick Sunday blog post because I can. That's right, mommy is Free.

Let me get into a little back story. The reason why I'm free is a complicated one- Dave and Harrison are in Watertown, but since I am a server, weekends are hard for me to take off, so I stayed home to work. This is the second time in two months that Dave and Harrison have left me to go to Watertown, because they are needed back home to help out with Dave's dad...

At the end of July, Dave's dad got in a very serious accident on their family farm. He got run over by a cattle trailer that had been backing up to drop cows off. Neither saw the other, and Greg was pulled under the trailer for it's entire length. The full cattle trailer had 8 inches of clearance off the ground, so just try to picture that for a second. Greg had a long list of injuries, including but not limited to: both broken hips, shattered pelvis, 16 broken ribs, broken collarbone, 2 broken vertebrae, and both lungs collapsed. I'm sure there were more. After three surgeries, 5 units of blood, a day on the ventilator, and 6 weeks in the hospital, he is finally home, but in a wheelchair while he undergoes physical therapy to relearn how to put weight on his hips, and essentially, walk. He is expected to make a full recovery, but life is definitely changed for the Porter's for the time being.

If I was ever unsure where Harrison got that face from... I know now. 

To read a full article on the accident: Click here

I don't know why it took me so long to write a post about the accident, seeing as it is nearly three months later. I guess it's just hard to put words to such a scary incident. But everyone is so glad that Greg is ok!

Including Harrison, whose new favorite thing to do is run up and down the ramp they built for Greg to get into the house. And also play with the 4398 barn cats.. which frightens me. 

So long story short, I am a free lady this weekend. Friday night, I went out in Rochester with the ladies to see our favorite band (aka to be groupies). Not sure why, maybe because the bar was packed, we hardly even watched them, and instead posted up at the bar for the majority of the night. This worked to our advantage, since my one lady became BFFs with the bartender, who then made us free shots. If anyone knows me, they know I love shots (the song Shots by LMFAO is my #1 favorite song of LIFE), but if there is anything better than shots, it's free shots.

Saturday was spent on the couch for the majority of the day, which is fine by me, because I never get to do that, then followed by working last night.

Today, I slept in til 9- glory of glories right there. I'm now leisurely drinking my coffee, which in combination with sleeping in, is one of the best feelings EVER. Please be jealous of the total of 4 days out of 365 that I get to sleep in.

One last thing, and completely random, but can we all admire two things:

1. How BEAUTIFUL MY SON IS

2. How amazing our photographer is (http://roseannalynnphotography.org/)

How was your weekend?

Do you think sleeping in feels as good as I do??

The Worst Season

Now that it's October, my social media outlets are getting flooded with weirdos praising Fall. Nothing in life infuriates me more than people professing their love for "sweater weather". I obviously live in the wrong region, so maybe I'm the crazy one, but what is so exciting and fun about being trapped, literally stuck inside your house, in 2 feet of snow? Nothing.

I am one of those freaks that are always cold (however, I'm not as bad as my sister). As in, I have a sweater on when it's 72 degrees out. Thus, I really, really hate the cold weather, and in fact- would unofficially diagnose myself with seasonal depression. It's worse this year, since I have an actual toddler to entertain, and my main form of brightening his day was to bring him outside and let him run around like a madman. I know he will still want to play outside, but I cannot tolerate the cold, so it should be a fun battling of wills. Spoiler alert: he will win. He just will.

Can't say no to this face

I also hate pie.

The thought of pie just makes me CRINGE

 Call me a terrorist. All these people are like "yay, it's pie season". Wtf does that even mean? There's a season to eat pie? You can't eat that shit year-round? The only pies I like are non-pies, like chocolate peanut butter pie, and pecan pie, which is basically pure sugar on a plate. Also, pumpkin pie, which brings me to my next point:

The only Fall praise I can give is to the reintroduction of everything pumpkin. Let me list all the delicious ways you can eat pumpkin: pumpkin lattes, pumpkin pie, Joy's pumpkin cheesecake brownie bars, Joy's pumpkin shakes (mom- this is a not-so subtle hint to please make these again this year), pumpkin bagels, pumpkin muffins... Need I go on? 

So all in all, expect me to like you a little bit less (or a lot less) if you say anything about how yesterday, when it was 79 degrees out and beautiful, that you were miserable and wanted cold weather instead. Or if you say anything about how you like snow. Snow is the devil. I wouldn't mind if it never snowed, and yes, that includes Christmas.

How am I supposed to wear this hat though? 

Basically, I need to move to California. Bye, bitches. 

In other news, this weekend was pretty uneventful. I cleaned, Dave and I had some friends over, and I worked. Wait, no, the only eventful part was the Colts' win yesterday over the Seahawks.

 Usually, I get excited when they win (obviously), but it was even better yesterday because the game was actually aired locally. THIS NEVER HAPPENS. Why? Because of the damn Buffalo Bills. Again, reasons why I need to move to a different geological area: The Bills suck only slightly less than the annoyance of Bills' fans. Done, I said it.

What do you love/hate about the fall & colder weather?

Are you a Bills fan? If so, leave this blog and never come back.