Facebook Rage

I seriously have some wise people in my life, specifically those that work in the profession of Speech Pathology, because their intelligence on the subject really helped to calm my fears, and get Harrison right on track! Since my last post, Harrison has started to make consonant sounds, like "da", "ga", and "ba", and has on a few occasions, even strung together a couple syllables. Nothing I would officially deem as a word yet, but he's getting there! See, I told you I was a nut, worrying about nothing on the reg! At least I still haven't laid claims that my 13-month old is not only speaking words, but stringing together entire sentences and has begun to master Spanish.

Mastering the Prime of his Asian, though.

But speaking of things that people do that piss me off, I came across an INFURIATING post on Facebook the other day, and thought- why not get the anger off my chest and vent on a public forum? I can't figure out an easier/shorter way of posting it, than by just copying and pasting, so feel free to skip right on down to my commentary after the jump.

Here is the original post, that I was able to see because one of my Facebook friends reposted it from the author:

Dear Mom On the iPhone,

I see you over there on the bench, messing on your iPhone. It feels good to relax a little while your kids have fun in the sunshine, doesn’t it? You are doing a great job with your kids, you work hard, you teach them manners, have them do their chores.

But Momma, let me tell you what you don’t see right now…..

Your little girl is spinning round and round, making her dress twirl. She is such a little beauty queen already, the sun shining behind her long hair. She keeps glancing your way to see if you are watching her. 

You aren’t.

Your little boy keeps shouting, “Mom, MOM watch this!” I see you acknowledge him, barely glancing his way. 

He sees that too. His shoulders slump, but only for a moment, as he finds the next cool thing to do.

Now you are pushing your baby in the swing. She loves it! Cooing and smiling with every push. You don’t see her though, do you? Your head is bent, your eyes on your phone as you absently push her swing. 

Talk to her. Tell her about the clouds, Mommy. The Creator who made them. Tickle her tummy when she comes near you and enjoy that baby belly laugh that leaves far too quickly.

Put your eyes back on your prize…Your kids.

Show them that they are the priority. Wherever you are, be ALL there. I am not saying it’s not ok to check in on your phone, but it’s a time-sucker: User Beware!

Play time at the park will be over before you know it.

The childhood of your children will be gone before you know it.

They won’t always want to come to the park with you, Mommy. They won’t always spin and twirl to make their new dress swish, they won’t always call out, “WATCH ME!”

There will come a point when they stop trying, stop calling your name, stop bothering to interrupt your phone time. 

Because they know…

You’ve shown them, all these moments, that the phone is more important than they are. They see you looking at it at while waiting to pick up brother from school, during playtime, at the dinner table, at bedtime…..

I know that’s not true, Mommy.

I know your heart says differently.

But your kids can’t hear your words, Mommy. Your actions are screaming way too loudly. 

May our eyes rest upon those we love, first and foremost, and may everything else fall away in the wonderful, noisy, sticky-fingered glory of it all.


So let me start off by reacting to the post itself, and then I'll get into the fury I had at the person who actually shared it.

I get that the message is one of care, and a message that we should not take what we have for granted. But I must first point out that the author was a male. Not that males can't love children the way women do, all I'm saying is that I can't know for sure whether this man even has kids of his own, or if he is a stay-at-home dad. The woman he refers to though, seems to be a full-time caretaker of her children. So for the purpose of this example, let's compare a working parent (assuming the author is one), to a stay-at-home one (the Mom on the iPhone).

Meaning, he does not realize actually how much this mom does watches her children. How much her eyes are on them, watching them to make sure they are playing safely, or eating their lunch. And no matter how intently she watches them, no matter how good of a mom you can be, your eyes CANNOT be on your children at every waking second in the day. Because you will, at times, need a break. Yes, you love your children like no other, but the full-time job of parenting is a tough one, and no one understands that better than the fellow mommies and daddies that stay at home with their kids. So, my message to that Mom on the iPhone, is to go ahead and take your much deserved break. Because your kids are exhausting, and if checking Facebook for a couple minutes helps your brain to decompress, in order to be more alert with your children after those two minutes are over, go right ahead.

My other pet peeve after reading that little tidbit, is that I firmly believe that no parent should judge other parents. We all have a hard job, probably the hardest one out there, and whatever way we choose to deal with the challenges that we face, is our decision. Just because you may choose to deal with the stress and exhaustion and demands in a different way, doesn't mean the other way is wrong.

The most exhausting

For example, sometimes when I couldn't get Harrison to stop screaming crying for the first 8 months of his life, I would scream back at him. Like, bloody murder, right in his face. Was that an acceptable method of dealing with the situation? Probably not. Did it work? Nope. But it was what I needed to do to let my frustrations out, so that I could cope with the crying baby in my arms.

Sure, I make fun of moms who are delusional, because they deserve to be made fun of for some of their outrageous claims, but if it makes them feel better to share on Facebook that their 8-month old runs AND says 20 words, then by all means. As a parent, I try my hardest to not judge other parents, so I would hope that my ways of caring for Harrison are not judged either.

Like the times when I dress him in women's necklaces

Now, I will get into the part that actually pissed me off the most- the person that posted this on Facebook. This person shared the link, with the caption "READ." This particular person is not a parent. I mean, unless they have some illegitimate child running around somewhere that I am unaware of, this person has no known children. So why was this Facebook friend of mine reposting a commentary on parenting, something he/she knows NOTHING about? If there is something that pisses me off more than parents judging other parents, it's non-parents judging parents. Please- I don't pass judgments on the way you conduct your career, because I don't know anything about ______ career. So do not post an article about how parents should interact with their children when you have none.

I may not have hand-grown and hand-made Harrison's baby food, and I sure as hell didn't forgo a glass of wine while breastfeeding, and I will be the first to admit that I probably am a little addicted to my iPhone, but I do not need non-parent "friends" of mine judging me for any of that. Have a child first, then talk.

Any Facebook posts of lately pissing you off?