No Walk in the Park

I'm back!

Probably not for good, or consistently, but it's a start.

I'm not even sure what to cover because there are SO MANY things. Pregnancy brain leads me to not even remember if I finished my wedding recap, so if I didn't, you are SOL because I'm moving on.

I think that obviously, it can now be noted, mostly so that it's on record for the blog, that I'm pregnant! 6 months.

Pregnancy: the only time I take selfies

I have a lot of observations about my current pregnancy so let's get started...

Dave and I are not finding out the sex. However, that being said, I'm like 95% certain it's a boy. The reason being that this pregnancy is essentially identical to Harrison's. The morning sickness, weight gain (so far), cravings, etc. Sometimes I envision myself on the operating table (oh yeah, that's another point of interest- we're opting for a scheduled c-section since Harrison's birth was such a damn disaster. I mean, other than the fact that him and I made it out alive and healthy) and try to predict what my reaction will be when I learn that we've birthed a second male child. All I can really envision is tears. And lots of them. I'll be drugged up, overtired, and yes, just had a living person taken out of a hole in my abdomen, so.... TEARS. Happy, emotionally-charged, delirious tears.

Then I try to picture what my reaction will be if they say it's a girl, and I'm hoping it's something along the lines of screaming "BOO YA" in Dave's face.

Another observation about pregnancy 2.0 is that it's no walk in the park with the toddler running my life. During my first trimester, I was often so tired and/or sick, I could barely get off the couch, so thank GOD for my husband taking full-time dad status. However, when you're already a hot mess of hormones, overtired and malnourished because you've been puking for weeks straight, and generally just a zombie, the guilt that I wasn't able to be there for my son was the worst part. I would just cry at night sometimes because I had felt like a bad mom that day if I couldn't get off the couch to go help with his bath. LOL pregnancy hormones will really get you!

Reading in a barn, naked... bad mom or good mom?

My second trimester has been a HUGE turnaround, and I actually have energy to chase that little Buzz Lightyear around, so that's the biggest improvement.

Too infinity... and beyond?

I also can perform other human tasks that I wasn't able to accomplish much of my first trimester, like laundry and cooking. Cooking is merely making cheesy eggs 3 nights in a row, but I'm counting it. What the child wants, the child gets. It's a good thing I got pregnant when I did, because my second (and best) trimester coincided with Dave's tax season. Tax season renders me husband-less, so I am grateful to the Gods of Fate that if I had to be acting, for all intents and purposes, like a single-mom of a toddler while pregnant and working full time, I was able to do so during the glory trimester.

I know the pregnancy is huge news, but I can't help but get way more excited and emotional (duh...I am pregnant) to share that Harrison is done with speech therapy! From the countless times I would write on this blog that I was so frustrated, concerned, anxious, etc about his speech delay, I'm just amazed how far he's grown and that he's already caught up! I was trying to write his Speech Therapist a thank you card and there were literally tears raining onto my kitchen counter over the emotions and gratitude I have for her helping him. OMG PREGNANCY WHY- because tearing up now. It's improved everyone's quality of life so much.. he's less frustrated now that he can actually communicate, and Dave and I CRACK UP at most of the stuff that comes out of his mouth. Here's a sampling:

-Tells us he's going to blow the baby away
-Says he's going to put the baby in time out
-Contrary to the above two statements, says he's going to be "so happy" to play with his baby "sister" (at least he's convinced it's a girl).

My ultimate favorite is him just whipping out "I wuv you mommy". Can't even TELL you how long I waited to hear that... Ok, yes I can, like 26 months.

Wuv you too Harrison 

I've heard that the transition from one child to two is INTENSE and I am bugging the eff out about it. Mostly because Harrison is the ULTIMATE mommy's boy, and he will NOT being having it. I could go on and on about all the reasons I'm terrified, but that's boring. I basically just wanted to say that maybe, just maybe, I'll be a little more motivated to blog for the next 3.5 months, knowing that with two children, all hell will break loose and blogging will DIE.

Hope to talk to you soon!

The Wedding Recap You've all been Waiting for

I'm almost ashamed to bring you this post because it's been MONTHS since I last blogged. Real adulthood is no joke people.

So I guess I have a lot to catch you up on, and a lot of the things are extremely exciting, in my little world anyway.

1. I got married!

Obviously there's no way I have the time for a full wedding recap, seeing as though I don't have the time to blog more than once every 4 months, but I will try to hit on the major points.

So rewind to the weekend before the wedding. I went on a bachelorette party for one of my best friends from Geneseo, overnight in Niagara Falls.

It was SO fun, but come Sunday when we were heading home, my freakout begun. 5 days before the wedding and I was freaking. the. eff. out. My friend Emily told me about this Modern Family episode she was watching, the one where Cam and Mitch get married, and the punchline for the entire episode was about their "wedding bump". So her and I were laughing, like "ohh I wonder what my bump is going to be...".

And it was sooo funny until the bump came. And when I say bump, I am not talking in metaphors.

So now fast forward to two days before the wedding. We arrive in Watertown. I was inwardly bugging out, knew I had sooo much to do still, but for some reason, I thought lounging by the pool was the best option. Wrong. Harrison loves to swim, whereas I do not, so naturally, Dave was in the pool with him and I was sunning myself on a pool chair. Here's where my advice to any future parents or parents of small children comes in: DO NOT and I repeat, do not, lift your child out of the pool, and leave them to their own will to run (because you know they won't walk) along the concrete poolside unsupervised.

I'm sure you can guess where this story is going. Harrison falls. Smacks his head on the concrete. I almost don't want to describe the sight that ensued because it still to this day makes me sick to my stomach. All in all, he ended up with a GIANT goose egg, and luckily there was hardly any blood, but any parents can probably attest to this- it was the first time he got really, really hurt, and the scare of it for me was a lot worse than the actual boo-boo (however the boo-boo was bad too). I spent the right of the night crying, inbetween awful thoughts like "OMG what if he has a concussion" or "OMG what if he has a brain aneurism" (parenthood effs with your mind).

Looks like a lot less of an offense here but trust me, huge. 

Moral of the story is this: Harrison's fall really put things in perspective for me, which was a good thing, considering before that, I was thinking the world was going to end because I forgot to procure a garder for the wedding day for the garder toss... or you know in the moment I felt like the all was lost, but reading that back now I think there's no way I thought the world was going to end, right? I'm that crazy?

Some brides are all like, "I would totally get married again tomorrow if I could" and my take on that is: NO NEVER. Not that I wouldn't partake in the best party of my life again, because yes actually I would do that every day if I could. I just mean I'll skip all of the planning, and stressing, and commotion. Harrison didn't appreciate the commotion either. Not to worry though, my photographer is amazing and still somehow managed to get a few pictures of him smiling!

too lazy to find the version with my photographer's watermark. You're welcome, Rosey! 

Another reflection I have about my own wedding was this: you know how you always hear married women saying they never were able to get drunk at their own wedding? 100% true. Which was fine. Until the point in the night when everyone else was WASTED and I learned that the entire party of groomsmen and other miscellaneous friends were out in the parking lot all night taking shots of scotch. So that made a fun ending of the night for those involved... and me not being one of them, not so much. I got adequately tipsy so it wasn't a complete fail, and one of our friends stole a bottle of wine for the bus ride back, so I hit that pretty hard :)

All things considered, it really was the world's best night, best party, best dancing, best company, and best ALL THE THINGS. Dave and I proceeded to attend 5 weddings after our own this summer, and let me say that I thoroughly enjoyed every one of them because the stress of my own was behind me. If weddings aren't the best, I don't know what is.

I guess this turned into more a mini-wedding recap, and I know that's what you all wanted anyways. The next posts I plan to write are The Honeymoon Edition, The Speech Therapy Edition, The Pottytraining Edition, and the Edition of Working Full Time and Failing at Life.

Preview of the Potty Training

Thanks for bearing with me friends :)

I'm Still Alive

I'M BACK!!! Holy shit it's felt like centuries since I last blogged! But I checked- it's only been two months,  so I don't really feel that bad. This post has the potential of being the longest post ever written, but because I don't have the time for that (hence why I haven't written in over 2 months), I'll try to keep it to the more important subjects.

1. Harrison, obvi.

You are all probably wondering if he's talking. Umm not really. Last week, I went ape-shit on his Speech Therapist and things are now finally starting to turn around. He'll say "hot", "baba", "off", "up", "mama", "dada", and a few others but only if he's prompted to say them. He still won't say my name when he needs me or wants my attention. Wait, actually he just won't say my name ever unless I ask him to... which is somehow more frustrating because HE KNOWS HOW TO SAY IT.  She did say milkshakes will help him talk because they are hard to suck through a straw, so it helps strengthen his tongue, and what's better than a toddler with a milkshake? Nothing. Feeding those to him keep him happy for days, and I was told to do it in the sake of medicine and therapy. Hallelujah.

There's no real reason for this picture other than to document his height and growth 

His transition to daycare.... oh boy. I guess I don't want to really get into the trials and tribulations of a 20-month old who is fully aware of the fact that I was plopping him down with absolute strangers every day and peacing on him. It was rough, and still is most days, but um, the positives outweigh the negatives on this one? Or I'll just try to convince myself of that when he's screaming, crying, and clinging to me for dear life.

1. Please forgive our just-rolled-out-of-bed expressions 2. The crab because he's crabby about daycare 3. "Oh snap! Time for bed" IS ANTHING CUTER THAN THAT???

2. Work

My job is going well so far! I really wasn't sure how the transition from stay-at-home mom, to working mom would be, but that seems to not be my issue. I am pretty much 100% focused on work  (and wedding planning) when I'm at work, and don't worry or think about Harrison too much. Sorry I'm not sorry if that sounds bad. The issue I do have with this transition is how to get anything else done, ever. I go to work, I come home and play with Harrison until 8pm when he goes down, at which point I'm physically incapable of doing anything other than sitting my butt on the couch and watching ALL THE HOUSEWIVES. I have so much more respect for working moms who complete basic tasks and life necessities such as: laundry, cooking dinner, cleaning, blogging. How do they do it?!!?!>!


3. Wedding

The month mark came and passed and I felt strangely calm. It was weird. Like I knew I had more projects and tasks to complete, but I felt as though it would all get done in a timely-matter and everything would be fiiiiine. NOPE NOT NOW. Three weeks to go and I am completely freaking the eff out. You know how I just said I don't have the time or energy after I put Harrison down for bed to do anything else? That's a lie. 8-10pm are my wedding hours at which point 10pm rolls around and then I physically cannot even move myself off the couch to transport myself into bed.

4. Bachelorette Party & Bridal Shower

This was ultimately the best day of my life. Well, you know, second to Harrison's birth, but a close second. I don't even know what the highlight was, because there were so many, but I'll recount a few: the limo tunnel, taking a shot while the song "Shots" was playing, my entire Bachelorette checklist (made my creative master-genius sister and MOH, Alyssa Lindsey), my very own edition of Cards Against Humanity (made by the creative master-genius team of MOH and MOB), thinking I lost my phone at the end of the night when really it was sitting on top of my bag the whole time, dancing for 1.5 hours straight, jello shots, etc etc... I think the entire night is best summed up by the joy you see in my face in this picture:

Darcy hearts Kellys

I also got a ton of amazing gifts at my showers and I love them all equally!! But there is one that is definitely the most beautiful:

Modeled on the cute picnic tablecloth that my mom got for my Picnic Themed shower! 

My KitchenAide Mixer!! To be honest, I have a ton of great recipes to try out with it, because it has literally been years of baking without a mixer, hand or stand-alone, BUT I am trying to hold out until after the wedding, because diet. Don't worry, simply staring at it's beauty will be enough for me. My mom, bridesmaids, and ladies went ALL OUT with my shower and bachelorette party plans so thank you, because to reiterate, it was the BEST DAY EVER!!

So that's a pretty lame and quick update on my life. Maybe the next time I'll blog, realistically, is after the wedding, so although I'm sorry it might be another 3 weeks until you hear from me, at least it will be an amazing post. Wedding recap = best ever.

BTW- Happy Father's Day to my Dad, Stepdad, Soon-to-be FIL, and of course, my very own baby daddy who I can call my HUSBAND in 19 days!!

Plentiful Life Updates

In the meantime since I've last blogged, Harrison had his speech evaluation. Any guesses as to the result? If you've been reading this blog for the past 7 months or so, then you would know that Harrison has basically zero words, and I've been a hot mess about it. So, as we all knew, and we now have confirmation for: he needs speech therapy.

It's definitely not a concern to me for anything other than the simple fact that he can't talk. All other areas of him as a human showed average results, or above average! My smarty pants was above average for his cognitive skills, and right on par for motor skills, it's just those language skills that are lacking. So that was definitely encouraging and relieving to hear from professionals on the subject.

I'm sure you all knew that update was coming, and so I feel as though some updates on other aspects of my life would be a little bit more interesting to you.

First off: the chip ban. I have that shit DOWN. Haven't touched a chip since I blogged about banning chips, and haven't even really wanted any, except for the time this past weekend when I went to the best Mexican restaurant on the earth with my dad and sister, and it would have been a crime to not partake in their homemade tortilla chips. I admit defeat, but in my defense, I was being greatly peer-pressured and if I only go to this restaurant once every 4 months then I think it's an acceptable time to allow myself a chip or two. 

The dessert ban, however, failed miserably. What can I say? I want a life where I can eat desserts and I don't really think that is such a bad thing. I better rephrase that though- the dessert ban BACKFIRED. I eat twice, if not three times the desserts as I was eating before the ban. I need rehab. 

Now that I've made you read through a long post of nothingness, I'll reward the few of you that stuck it out and read to this point, because this is the biggest news of them all: I got a new job, which requires me to put Harrison in daycare. My feelings on all of this: excited, emotional, nervous, emotional, relieved, emotional... 

Basically, I can't even think the thoughts that this will be my last full week at home with him or the tears start flowing. I'll be sure to keep you posted on how the transition goes. I know it'll be good for both of us, I know this, but please still say a little prayer for my sanity, as I will be a hot mess when I drop him off that first day. 

Chunks

One of the greatest occurrences of my life thus far happened the other day. Spoiler alert: that was sarcasm. Harrison projectile vomited, numerous times, all over me and this house.

Moms don't have an easy job as it is. Infantile babies may spit up all over you for their first 6 months of life, breastfeeding is no walk in the park, exhaustion is an understatement until your child begins sleeping through the night... which may take him or her 9 months.. ahem.., wiping shit from their asses that smells like the most ungodly scent you can imagine; none of it is fun. However, it kind of just all comes with the title, and you get over it quickly. Hell, I can change a poopy diaper like nobody's business now.

Is it fun when I make you clean up all of the tupperware?

The issue of projectile vomiting is a different playing field, though. Harrison and I were just sitting peacefully on the couch, watching the Today Show, as I drank my coffee and him his juice. He sneezed. I quickly grabbed a tissue to wipe up the snot that was all over his face and as the tissue was in front of his face, the chunks came flying. Some of you may think I was lucky to have somehow had a tissue right over his mouth at the very moment when he puked, but those of you are wrong. I feel like everyone has certain textures that just freak them out, and mine is wet paper. So there I was, holding a dripping wet tissue, which is enough to make me vom myself, then add to that the contents of vomit all over Harrison, me, and the couch.

My fight-or-flight response kicked in, and without taking a moment to consider how gross this all was, I scooped him up and ran upstairs to get him changed. Then came the fun part of having to clean up the puke from the couch, when I became fully aware of the fact that moms do not have it easy.

I wrote that one off as maybe Harrison drank his juice too fast, and his stomach rejected it. Or something went down the wrong pipe. He was acting fine, playing, cuddling, whatever... so I went on my merry way.

No, it's this vile food you feed me

Maybe an hour later, I went into the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal. Harrison came running in after me, as he does whenever I go into a different room, and as my back was turned to him, I heard a loud splash. There he goes again. This time all over the kitchen tile (which I must say, made for much easier clean-up), and himself, again. He started to take a few steps towards me, when another batch came up, and it must have startled the shit out of him, because he came running at me, straight through the wet vomit, throwing his vomit-covered self at me like a bear was chasing him, and screaming crying, because why wouldn't he be? It was a horrible situation.

At this point I knew I needed to call the doctor's office, and a nurse told me just to watch him and not to give him any dairy. That was all fine and dandy, except that I had no idea what caused these three freak events, and I had no way to prevent it from happening again, other than to avoid dairy and feed him only crackers for the remainder of the day. So, I lived in the worst fear of my life for the rest of the morning- that any little cough, or fall, would induce projectile chunks again.

LUCKILY it was only those three times. I've heard horror stories from moms that their babies projectile vomited for a full day, or longer. That is literally the worst possible thing I could imagine. Moms that survive that are heroes, in my book.

This was two days ago, and he hasn't been acting sick since.

As insane as ever!!

Well, maybe except for last night, when he was up 4 different times, crying his little heart out, and that NEVER happens anymore. We think he might be getting a molar in. Since he doesn't have any words to express himself, like for example to tell me if he's hurting, where it hurts, etc etc... I have no way of knowing if my theory is right. This, Harrison, is why you need to learn to talk. Please, I beg of you.

What is the grossest thing that's happened to you lately?

My sister is smarter than your sister

This post comes to you from the inspiration given to me by my genius sister.

Reason #1 why she is a genius: I was texting with her the other night, and the topic of my workouts came up. I told her that I didn't do a work out that day because I've been having pain in my left knee, and wanted to give it a break. She had me describe to her where it hurt, and the type of pain I was experiencing, and immediately delivered a genius treatment plan: ice it.

Why I couldn't think of that on my own, I have no clue, I'm just glad I have access to her endless wisdom. I'm not sure if I hurt my knee during an actual work out, or if its the stairs I run 50-75 times a night (no exaggeration) at work. The impact on my knee while walking/running up and down stairs is when the pain spikes up quite a bit, so I'm gonna go with that one. Either way, it has made both working out, and performing the essential tasks of daily life, like picking up Harrison, less fun. In any case, I can handle a sharp pain here and there, it's not like my knee is preventing me from mobility. I'm just an expert whiner.

Actually that's my title

Reason #2 why she is a genius: I was also texting with her about my new dietary restrictions that I've placed on myself. She came up with a genius plan for how I can stick to them, until the wedding, anyway.

First, I'll explain what they are. The first, and most important limitation to my diet is no chips. I never used to be a chip person, until some little creature named Harrison started growing in my body and took over my brain. I got hooked on chips during my pregnancy, but the chip consumption became more like an addiction while I was nursing. As you all know, I was unable to put down my son for 90% of my waking hours, so in my extreme hunger levels, I would turn to chips as an easy, one-handed food item. I find chips so good because they are SO SALTY. I swear my brain now fiends for salt similar to how a crack addict would fiend for crack. The chip-ban is not just for purposes of healthy eating and hopeful weight loss, it is me putting myself into rehab for salt.

BUT SALT IS GOOD

So far, I feel pretty strongly about this chip ban. It's only been a week, but I have a lot of confidence in myself that I can make this last until the wedding. Mostly because I'm not completely taking salt out of my diet, so I still can indulge in a salty snack when necessary. Like light popcorn, or something.

It's the second food limitation that I'm gonna struggle with, and where my sister's plan came into play. It's dessert. Gets me every time. My sweet tooth is not my friend. So knowing my sister has cut sweets out of her diet from time to time, I asked her how it's even humanly possible. Her response, if you couldn't guess- genius. She instructed me to make my dessert-ban public, and that way I'll feel pressured into sticking with it.

This one also, clearly, has a sweet tooth

I'm not trying to not eat a sweet for four whole months, because that is 1. a highly unrealistic goal for me and 2. majorly effing depressing. However, I am going to try to cut my dessert intake to one a week. Please blog friends, hold me to that. Again, although this one intimidates me a lot more than the chip-ban, I hope I can achieve my goal since I still will have sugar in other forms. For example, coffee creamer, hard cider, cereal, etc etc... I know these are not revolutionary diet tricks, and I might not even lose any weight from it, but it's just a way for me to try to cut back on certain high-calorie items that I am known to overindulge on.

What is your food weakness?

Gifts from my Loved Ones on Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day! I'm usually not one to brag, and I try to keep myself away from social media on days like today, because the people that are bragging really annoy me, but this is a much more confined outlet to brag on than Facebook, so I'm gonna go for it.

Dave completely surprised me with an early Valentines Day celebration last night! I'm working all weekend, and he has to stay very late at work during the week due to tax season, so I figured that Valentines Day was out this year. However, he came home earlier than I expected last night so that we could actually celebrate. He was equipped with a bouquet of flowers, a card, a bottle of champagne, and even went to the extent to wrap the present he had gotten me. I then felt like a horrible person and complete failure, because all I had gotten him was a card, and had the fanciest of all dinners planned: grilled chicken breast salads. Whoops.

The present was a Patagonia jacket, and it was a complete surprise! I think I had mentioned in passing, like once, that I had always wanted a Patagonia, but it was more just me throwing it out there whimsically, with no intent of it being a hint for him to get me one. But, I'm lucky and it worked!

Harrison's gift to me today was being the crankiest, whiniest person of all the land. So then I drugged him, because he's getting a molar in and I attributed his horrible attitude to that. His other gift to me is the gift of needing Speech Therapy. Yes, all of my whining over the past six months has been justified, and his pediatrician on Monday confirmed that his speech is delayed. I think everyone thinks I will be a mess over this news, and is really worried for me. While I appreciate the concern, I'm actually relieved by the news because this means we can start working with him, and hopefully see results soon! I can tell he's getting really frustrated at times without words, which in turn makes me frustrated. I also get really frustrated seeing other kids his age being able to full-on communicate with their parents, and master words like "apple" and "brother", while Harrison can't even manage a "dada" half the time, and better yet, "mama" is nonexistent. The evaluator comes on Tuesday, and I'm sure I'll have some riveting updates to share about his sessions.

Tonight I will be going to work, to one of the most horrid days a server can possibly endure. Sorry if any of you reading this plan to go out to dinner with your loved ones tonight. Please, by all means, enjoy your dinner and don't listen to a word I just said!

Do you have any plans for Valentines Day?